(Writing for Alex tonight for the prompt~!)

Alex could hardly believe he was back here again all these years later. Staring up at the stonework of buildings and spires. A part of him wanted no part of this. To turn and walk right back out of this city and all the memories it held for him. Almost all of those memories bad…

Looking towards the Brume as he passed on the way towards the upper parts of the city. The place section where most of those with money or power resided. Heading for House Rillek of all places. This was something he was not looking forward to one bit.

From Brume Rat, scrounging to survive. To a Ward of House Rillek… How in seven hells he managed to get himself from the lowest caste to one of this standing… He knew he didn’t deserve it. More then deserved to be dead ten times over. Yet he wasn’t ready to lay down and die. Not without a damn good reason.

He’d stolen to survive as a child. Killed to survive as an adult. Yet somehow Lord Rillek was going to pull enough strings that he wouldn’t be touchable for his past crimes in Ishgard. Of course there was a huge ‘if’ attached to it. He had to work for it. Show he wanted to change.

All of this for a woman he didn’t deserve but he claimed her anyways.

Alex sighed heavily as his steps slowed. He was in no hurry to basically become nothing more then a servant. So it was not really much of a big step up in caste. Now he just didn’t have to steal or kill to feed himself.

The problem was stomaching the idea of serving a new Lord. The last one he had been forced to deal with when he was younger… Gods knew he would never tolerate another like that one. Would not let another touch him like that. Not if that ‘Lord’ wanted to keep his hands intact.

He wasn’t sure he could do this. Fear and doubt was gnawing on his insides. He was born a Brume rat and would die a beast. That familiar darkness whispering to him on how hard this would fail and come crashing down around him. There was no forgiveness for the things he had done. He would ask for none because it would not change the past. Halone had forsaken him a long time ago.

In the end he moved forward. Towards whatever crazy fate awaited him. Hoping silently that Koh’s love was enough to give him strength to survive this. Survive without giving into the darkest parts of his tarnished soul.