(Make up day since I missed this earlier this week with the event this is tied to.)

It was the one place she always went to when she needed to be alone without going far. Going to the Shroud was too far for as worn as she still was. Right now she just needed quiet to think.

To hate herself for not being stronger.

Closing her eyes and letting the gentle wind soothe her. As much as the wind could help her right now anyways. A part of her would have rather it been howling instead of a gentle caress.

“Twelve have mercy please… Give us our Ikara back…” Destiney whispered softly in prayer before gazing sadly out over the railing towards the sky. Somewhere out there Ikara was still held captive. And she had been powerless to really help her friends with the rescue.

The only reason she hadn’t frozen up when the trap caught her was because it had caught Lloire too. But Twelve be merciful how badly she had wanted to freeze up in that moment. Locked in a room with an enemy and Lloire. If she hadn’t fought there was no telling if Lloire could have done it alone. Losing Lloire would have been bad. Especially since he’d helped her so many times and was family to both Soren and Ikara.

Destiney pulled her knees up and wrapped her arms around them. The wind gently blowing her hair. Silently hating herself for still being weak. For not making enough progress. Not being able to contribute better.

Hands clenching tightly in the fabric of her sleeves. This was her fault. Only herself to blame for the problem she had. A moment of stupidity was still haunting her years later. Even with the progress she had made. It still wasn’t enough to get over the trauma. Not enough to play a better role in trying to save Ikara.

Closing her eyes and just letting the sound of the wind and silence help to calm the feelings of self-loathing. Had to force herself to remember not all was lost. Not yet. There had to be a way to deal with this. To be stronger.

Sleeping snuggled up to Syluss helped combat the sadness but it wasn’t a cure. Syluss was her strength right now though. Her love for him and Ikara had kept her moving forward during the failed rescue. Just as it would now. No matter how much she wanted to blame herself. Still she had a reason to keep moving forward.