(Hmm. OOC again. I find this one hard to really describe IC. Thanks for asking @cmahjiofbalmung)
(Destiney has mixed views about herself. Some days are better then others. Over all she probably views herself in a more Neutral stand point most of the time. Rarely does she perceive herself as positive though. She tries hard an doubts still plague her on if she is good enough for the role she is trying to fill among the Order. On her worst days she perceives herself in negative ways. She’s still trying her best to find the best way possible moving forward as some parts of her soul are still jagged and sharp. She’s healing an the Order is a blessing for her though. She’s been able to find her way through some really dark moments with their strength. So with time she will be able to start to perceive herself in a better light.)
(Lance perceives himself in mostly a positive light. He’s a knight with a high respect for honor and loyalty. The odds of him looking at himself negatively are very low and would depend on if he feels he’s failed in his duty somehow. Whether it be to Haillenarte, his cousin, or to his Lady Miu. Nothing to him is more sacred then his promises or honor.)
(Going OOC for this answer. Just easier. Thanks for asking, @sylvain-tolbert)
(She knows she has people who dislike her but has not gone as far as calling them enemies. She probably should. Her enemies are few though. Mostly her Grandfather and Uncle in the Aurifore family. She’s a half-breed from a Ishgardian mother who was disowned. Dest has been making herself more known over time which does not please Grandfather. She has a ‘pet’ dragonet. Lady is not really a pet but a small dragonet that has chosen Destiney as an interesting person to follow about. Destiney allows it because she likes Lady’s company. As well as she’s been dealing with some very old sharylan astrologian cards that were found while on a mission with the Order. She’s only used them for her company though she had asked around in Ishgard seeking answers about the cards before. Every thing she seems to do in Ishgard draws more ire from her family who lives there. Her Grandfather is stuck in the old ways, preferring to look at some of the things she’s doing as heresy. Other then her family, Dest doesn’t really have any enemies of her own.)
(Lance is in about the same boat as Destiney. Though not quite either. He’s not yet completely made his family his enemies. It will happen with time due to his actions and choices. Other then that he personally considers Heretics and dragons of Nidhogg’s brood to be his enemies. Anyone who tries to harm those he cares about of the nation he calls home is an enemy to him. He even considered one man of the Order and enemy before he learned more because the man had a reputation that Lance had once heard rumors about long ago. While he no longer considers the former Durendaire man an enemy, Lance still keeps a wary eye on him because of that reputation because he’s afraid that reputation will damn his cousin further.)
What position does your character sleep in? ( i.e; stomach, side, back, etc. ) Describe why they do this — optional.
Does your character have any noteworthy features? Freckles? Dimples? A scar somewhere unusual? etc.
Does your character have an accent? What does it sound like?
Do they have any verbal tics? Do they have trouble pronouncing certain words or getting their thoughts across clearly?
What are their chief tension areas?
If you were to pick one song — and only one song — to describe your character, what would it be and why?
How does your character perceive themselves? Positive? Negative? Neutral?
Are they a quick thinker or do they need time to sort through their thoughts?
Does your character dream or are their nights filled with an empty blackness? Describe a dream they’ve had or a night they couldn’t sleep and what they did to preoccupy their time.
If they had a choice, would they prefer a subway or a bus for public transportation?
What do they think of creation? Do they believe in evolution or do they believe in God? What is their religion like?
Describe 5 unusual characteristics your muse has.
Have they ever been so overwhelmed they had to stop and take a break from something?
Are they a team player or do they prefer to be solo?
Can they multi-task or must they focus on one subject at a time?
What are their best school subjects? What are their worst? List five of each.
Is your character an introvert or an extrovert? How do they handle big crowds of people?
Are they a leader, do they prefer to follow, or would they rather just stay on the sidelines altogether?
If your character was suddenly challenged, would they rather run away or stay and fight?
If your character was allowed to murder one person without any consequences, who would that person be and why?
Your character has been granted 3 wishes; what would they wish for and why?
Does your character trust people right off the bat or does it take them some time to warm up to someone?
Do they prefer romance or affection? What is the quickest way to your character’s heart?
Does your character have any enemies? If so, who and why?
Do they have any weird bedroom habits? Any unusual kinks?
How does your character prepare for bed? Do they sleep at all or can they stay awake for days on end without trouble?
If your character had one thing to say to their parents before they died, what would it be?
Are they afraid of death? Do they have any regrets?
Does your character get restless when things are too quiet or do they favour solitude and silence? Why?
Finally; if your character was forced to eat one thing for the rest of their life, what would they choose and why?
(Okay. Got done with the journal post for Destiney. Now to get a bit of writing done for Lance. Cause he has had a wonderful few days. ^^ Yay~!)
Lance felt like he was walking on air as he went to his next day of duty in Skyfire Locks. He may not have been able to find his cousin but his day with Miu had been nothing short of perfect.
Finding his cousin still worried his mind though. The few days he had shadowed her before his date had left him troubled. She had seemed so… Disturbed. There just had not been the usual mood about her. She had seemed so detached an almost… Broken. This was not the cousin he had gotten used to spying on. Something was clearly wrong.
He tried to keep his thoughts on Miu as he worked. He had kissed the girl for crying out loud. Even more that she had kissed him back! But slowly his thoughts became troubled with other problems. If his family found out about his affections for the small miqo’te woman… They would surely cast him out. Even if he was no longer heir to the family name he had still been expected to marry well an carry on the family name. This would not be the kind of woman they expected him to end up with.
A frown creased his brow as he looked out over the winter landscape of Coerthas. How was he to keep protecting both ladies? He had to find a way to keep all the truths hidden behind lies to his family.
He had to find his cousin as soon as he could. He was worried for her. He had tried last night to find her with no success. His cousin apparently did not want to be found. Not that he had had much luck finding Raiden either. He still wanted to seek Raiden for training or at least to challenge the man in hopes of strengthening himself. Things around the Order’s house had been so… Subdued feeling. Something had happened. Something bad.
Now he just had to wait for his duty to end for the day. He would try again. Destiney was out there somewhere. Hopefully whatever was going on would pass if he could not. Miu had told him to speak with Destiney. He was done hiding in the shadows.
A heavy sigh as he looked away from the snow. He was worried for his future and the future of his cousin. His future with Miu. But he could not be afraid. He had to keep fighting. No more hiding in shadows. It was time to be open and honest. It was time to confront the monster head on.
A small smile as he thought again on that day with Miu by the waterfall. Together with her. She was his strength right now. He would get through anything and everything as long as he had her. She was his summer sun in the never ending winter of his life.
Just like a rose. Together they had something beautiful but he was the thorns protecting the beauty an joy that was Miu, the rose.
(Okay let’s see if I can get a journal post done now that I got through the asks. 😀 Well all the ones that were currently there. I’ll answer anymore if they show up of course! ^^ I enjoy answering them. It’s quite fun. 😀 This entry though is going to be a bit more emotional an less of a telling of the events of the week since last entry. As I said in an ask earlier, Dest is a bit emotionally unstable right now. Thanks @onidephor, Leera helped break Dest. I hope that smug duskwight bastard is happy an enjoying every minute of it. :P)
Am I really so fragile? Am I truly like broken glass? I overheard Dusk’s words as I lingered near the stairs after changing my clothes to head to the Shroud in hopes of finding Basteaux. I wanted to run upstairs an claim I was not glass! But… Maybe I am…
I must be so broken an be the only one who can not see it. How could I feel nothing about ten dead children! Ten! I felt numb and empty. Yet… I was so near to being sick watching the rest of the Order kill the bandits responsible. I spent the better part of two days wandering about wondering why I felt so little. Was I really so broken I could feel so little about dead children? That I could find no rage. That I could find no killing calm towards those responsible. Had I shattered myself so badly that day outside Occidens that I could no longer find that rage an anger for such a tragedy?
I thought I was going to be okay. I thought I could be strong an help those who needed it. I thought I could repay the kindness I have received ever since joining the Order. I told Rhisi I was fine. That I could find no rage like everyone else could. She hoped I would never find it again. I thought I was fine. But time only made me doubt myself.
I found Leera outside the house a few days ago. I was cautious at first as I usually am. I know what the others think of him. I know I can never fully trust him. But… He seemed like he was actually sorry about the whole incident. I found myself drawn towards him like a moth to a flame.
When Felix showed… I said words I should never had said. I felt as if a slap to my face would have been less painful or even a sword to the gut… He thought… I was stupid for wanting to be around Leera. Even though he was the one who first left me alone with him! Even though he never once thought to ask if I was okay after finding out the truth about Leera in person! He claims Leera is a monster an only wants to kill certain members of the Order… Yet… I see more to the man then that. I can see some shred of good in him. I want to believe that maybe there is a chance he can be something more.
Dusk had happened by during our exchange of words. She called my behavior childish… Maybe… I think I had a right to my feelings. I felt so raw and hurt. I felt so… Alone. I wanted to curl into a ball an wish the world away. I threw words at her. I told her how I felt. Blamed things on those that made me feel as if… as if… I was not a person. I blamed Oni and his treating Daisy and I as snacks. I blamed Aimee an her lack of making sure I knew my job as a healer for the Order. I blamed Felix for thinking less of me. I blamed everyone but my weak self at the time…
As she left I noticed Leera had left a linkpearl near me when he had left. I grabbed it an held it tight. I felt… Defiant. Hurt and defiant. I wanted to prove them wrong. Prove to them that maybe there was a shred of humanity inside the man they thought of as a monster. That even as fragile as I can be in their eyes… I can still be strong in different ways. Continue to reforge the broken parts of myself as I had been. I had been doing so well…
It was after that exchange that I had gone out with my bow. I was still feeling so raw an hurt. I figured a few drinks with Basteaux an forgetting the world was in order. Instead all I found was more pain. This time physical. I was forced to flee from some bandits as I was lacking care as I traveled through the woods. Somewhere along the line I had fallen. Tried to stop my fall with my bow hand. I know the wrist is sprained. And… I do not care. I welcomed the pain. Once I was safe I took the time to wrap my wrist and hand. Not well since I was doing it with only one hand.
I’m still so… Mixed. So hurt an sad. I don’t want to bother Rhisi. I don’t want to bother anyone. I just… I’m not sure what I want. I have avoided the hall since that night. I’ve avoided all contact with the rest of the Order. I’m… not sure… What I am going to do come tomorrow… I should be there for the mission… But… I just do not know… Twelve help me… Maybe I should use that linkpearl Leera left me… Is this a mistake? Should I have not picked it up at all? Maybe I should just let myself believe what they say about him instead… Is it really wrong of me to want to think that maybe Leera might change for the better with the right influences? I won’t know without trying… It could mean my death… It could mean more pain… I should be afraid… But I’m not…
“Cooking without burning food.” She sighs an puts her head down on the table before her. “But maybe it is a good thing I can not. I have a bad sweet tooth. If I could cook the sweets I craved… It may be a bad thing. Granted work helps to keep me fit but I would hate to think of the sweets I would make an devour if I could cook.”
“I think… I would like to be skilled at more then a sword and pretty words. Maybe skilled with a trade of some sort. A fall back plan should I ever find myself unable to be a knight. Alas I have no skills with my hands beyond holding a weapon.”
“Somewhere near water. A waterfall or lake. Or even in the Shroud among the falling raindrops. There is something peaceful about the rain. Or the roaring of water drowning out all other noise. Or just the absence of people because they are afraid of getting wet. The water is calming no matter it’s form.” She closes her eyes an sighs in content as she imagines being in one of those places at the time. “If I have a good book handy at the time it is even better yet. Though I would not risk taking a book in the rain. I would not wish to harm the book.”
“Being around Lady Miu is calming. But I find I also like the silence in Coerthas as the snow falls. Watching the flakes drift down from the skies above. Granted I could do without the bitter cold winds an such that tend to join the snow. But each flake is special. Watching them dance through the air as they drift down.” He sighs wistfully. “Though I do also miss the Coerthas of old. Before the never ending winter.”
“Nervous habits? Really?” She looks away and rubs the back of her neck. She finally looks at her nails before picking at them, finding a rough edge on one. “Why ever would you want to know about such a thing? Is this really necessary?”
(She has a tendency to deflect or ramble when nervous.)
“Nervous habits… I pace. A lot…” He shrugs his shoulders, hands raised slightly. “Or I have a habit of growing silent when nervous. To think a time when I actually have nothing to say!” He gives a warm laugh. “I am sure some people actually enjoy making me nervous in hopes I will shut my mouth for once.”
(Oh joy. XD I’m answer this one OOC for Dest. Dest IC at this time would not be in any shape to discuss this. Lance’s will be IC.)
(Dest’s current biggest problem is complicated. Emotionally right now she is a damned mess this week. Friday’s mission and Leera just have her at a breaking point. She actually had a verbal confrontation with Felix and Dusk, who she considers friends and family among the Order. She was already sort of emotionally on edge before monday’s confrontation because of the mission. She found Leera outside the house an began to speak with him. Now Dest originally thought she could be friends with Leera. Then things happened to make her distrust an remain indifferent to him. Slowly though she has found herself drawn to him again despite what happened between them. She wants to see the good in him though he is technically a villain to a few members of the Order. Well Felix has shot Leera outside of the house before. Dest has sort of been trying to run interference between the two to try an avoid anymore public violence. Words were said and now Dest feels Felix dislikes her. *makes grabby hands* Nuuu! Not Dest’s drinking buddy! An she feels Dusk thinks she is nothing but a child. She went out searching for a friend in the South Shroud after the confrontation. She could not find Basteaux but did manage to get herself hurt. An because she is feeling so emotionally self destructive right now she hasn’t healed her sprained wrist. Leera however was enjoying every moment of Dest’s breakdown outside the house before he left. So now she has to try an decide where to go from here. How to move past this moment an if she can fix what has happened.)
“My biggest current problems are almost one and the same. Though not entirely either. They all revolve around family.” He explains as he paces about the room, the metal of his greaves echoing off the stone. “In order to protect my cousin I must lie to my family. To care about Miu, I must lie to my family. Either way I must lie to someone. It… It is complicated.”
Spirit of the Warlock 