(Got to answer this one OOCly. Alex will -not- discuss his feelings so openly. Not unless you are someone he trusts. He doesn’t trust a lot of people.
For Alex is depends on who he just killed and why. The more personal the kill the more he suffers for it. There are many kills he doesn’t think twice about. Killing doesn’t often bother him. It’s a part of life. The strong survive and the weak die.
Though if it is like the Slavers he was hunting the other week… That was a little more personal because he ended up friending Virae. The Slavers were tied to ones who had abused her. It hit a little too close to home for Alex. He was angry and hurt. It reminded him too much of his own past and that left him reeling a bit. It left him feeling very raw and vulnerable. Which makes him seem hostile and cold to even friends because he doesn’t like to be seen as weak.)
“Seven hells… A bastard who truly deserves to bleed out at my hands. Slavers. Corrupt Ishgardian highborns.” A simple shrug of his shoulders as he lights a smoke, smirking. “No one deserves the fate those bastards make people suffer. I ain’t no good guy and it takes a monster to kill one. So I’ll be their worst nightmare.”
Alex huffs softly and looks away. Arms crossed over his chest with a clear frown on his face. “Not often. I’m not exactly a man of mercy. Most of the time. I guess… The time I didn’t kill the waste of life that is my father. My half-brother’s mother was begging and pleading for his worthless life. I guess you can say I spared him only because neither of us had the life we wanted. Not my father. My half-brother. We both suffered cause of him but… His mother seemed to care where mine never did. I never knew him but I guess one can consider this my way of acknowledging him and the fact we both had to deal with this worthless sperm donor of a father.”
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(Writing for Alex today. Some nightmares for him but nothing too bad. At least today anyways. XD)
Sharpened teeth like daggers. Snow white hair. A predator far more dangerous then himself. One with exceptional aether control. Beyond what most average people were able to do. One that nearly killed him twice now.
Virae plummeting off the side of the bridge. His attempt to grab for her. To save her. The feeling of his heart in his throat as he failed. Failed to grab her.
There stood the man of nightmares holding Virae’s broken body. A wicked sharp grin on his face.
Alexois sat up straight in bed. He didn’t grab for a dagger or scream. He wasn’t really a screamer anyways. Working to catch his breath as he looked first at the sleeping Virae to his left and then towards Sanagi on his right. Raising a brow at Sana who didn’t seem to really be sleeping.
Grumbling a soft apology in case he had awoken her before he climbed from bed. Keeping his voice soft so as not to wake Virae if she was really sleeping. He didn’t want to find out and accidently wake her too.
“I’ll be back. Need a walk. Alone.” Alex kept his voice to almost a whisper as he grabbed a spear he kept near the door.
He had said alone but he wouldn’t be surprised if Sana followed him. Or Virae if she wasn’t sleeping. He wasn’t really going to enforce that alone bit either. Just he needed to move. To shake off the nightmare. Virae was still alive. Was safe in bed beside him.
Remembered he went to take advantage of the free drinks last night after the caravan escort. Virae asking him if he wanted company for the night. Vaguely remembered calling Sanagi. He didn’t fully trust Virae to be honest with him that she was truly alright. They hadn’t known each other long enough for that level of trust.
Alex kicked off his sandals once he reached the beach in the Mist. Tugged off his tunic and it joined his sandals. One quick spin of the spear as he strode a bit further into the sand as the sun was rising on the horizon.
Swish. A jab of the spear as he started with easy swings at first. Warming up his body and muscles. Letting the movement finish waking him from the nightmares.
He went through the various movements and attacks his mentor had taught him over the years growing up under the man. Felt the burn of muscles. Rarely did he bother with his spear anymore since Aeri had taught him how to use daggers. But he needed the heavier weapon right now. Needed that different burn. He could feel the sweat running down his body as he kept moving as the sun crept further into the air. Letting the sunrise as he worked out. It didn’t solve any of the troubles in his heart and head right now. But it was a momentary escape.
A chance for a moment to forget. To kill imaginary enemies. To lose himself in a mock fight.
Spirit of the Warlock 