He was supposed to be home today. They were supposed to enjoy the evening together. Yet that was a hour ago. She had even attempted cooking again. All for him.
Destiney gave a heavy sigh as she looked at the food an drinks set out on the table. All that work and effort. Just to do something special for her husband. To make up for never seeing him much. Yet here she was waiting. He was probably held up with work. Yet just once she had hoped they could share a planned evening together.
One hour slowly turned into two. Destiney finally began to clean up. Her hands paused mid reach for the bottle of wine. Footsteps had brought her attention up towards the fence. Finally he was home. Tired and disheveled. A warm smile towards her.
“Dek.” She walked over to meet him at the fence, a soft kiss to his lips as she leaned into him. Enjoying the warmth of his presence.
Destiney’s hands went to her hips. Daisy perched lazily on her shoulder as she looked down at the Seeker sitting on the ground. How she had gotten stuck with such a… Insufferable woman she had no idea.
“Really?! You couldn’t just remain out of trouble for five ticks while I spoke with the man? No you had to go an get yourself into a fight. An what do you have to show for it?” Destiney throws her hands up in mild frustration. Not frustrated enough yet to smack the other woman in the head with her book though.
“I gots him to shut his gob.” Karigan says with a wide grin which made her wince as it pulled at the busted lip. “I don’t take kindly to bullies. Especially kinds like that one over there. Ya get me?”
Destiney sighs an kneels down to better deal with the Miqo’te woman. Gentle hands touched over wounds, sparkling gently with healing magic. “That is all well an good yet there are better ways of dealing with ilk like that then getting yourself busted up.”
“Meh. I deals with people like that however I please. I do thank ya for fixing me up right quick though.” Karigan’s smile wasn’t nearly as bright now but it was still there. Feeling slightly guilty for making the Elezen lass who had agreed to help her deal with this.
“I am a healer. It’s my job. Besides we aren’t finished with this job yet. I can’t very well leave you in this shape.” Destiney put a hand on top of Karigan’s head as she finished taking care of the minor injuries. “All better. Now let’s get moving.”
(Sort of backdating this entry a bit. Cause I meant to have this done an posted before the holiday. An I don’t want to put the happy stuff of the holiday with the darker stuff of this journal entry. So this happened before the starlight party. I want to say she wrote this the day before the party. Personal Mentions: @jonahsage@kindlingdusk@onidephor@sunshineandlotus )
The last many days… I’ve been bounced between so many varying shades of emotion. Pain, emptiness, sadness, anger… Fear. Love. Hope.
Our last mission was going well enough. Though the cards predicted it would be a rough night. A night we could pull through together. We did. But… There were some very rocky bumps in the road this night. The worst part was whatever that device was that threw us all into memories. Memories meant to cut an bleed us dry.
It felt like being back in that very moment. The memory was literally that vivid. I could actually feel the pain all over again. I was forced to replay that moment once more. As if the nightmares had never been enough. To relive the moment before I nearly died. To be brought back to that brink… To see those sneering Imperial faces hovering over me once more… Even as Konner set us free I found myself stuck hovering at the edges of that pain.
Dusk’s voice was the first thing I heard. I heard her calling out to me. Bringing me back from that trauma of the past. I forced myself to stand once more. To put one foot in front of the other again. However I was hesitant enough in moving that I believe I worried Quarcy. His concerned hand on my shoulder was enough to finish dispelling the hold that memory gripped me in. I was able to keep going forward with the mission. Though I took the time to slip on my half-mask, relishing in the comfortable feeling of it upon my face. Hiding behind that mask.
I returned to the house after the mission with the intent to help at the ward with any injuries. However I found myself a patient instead. I should not have worn the jacket into the heat of Thanalan despite the extra protection it offered. Rhisi forced me to lie down an rest before I fell over from the heat exhaustion that was winning out. I only remained long enough to regain some of my strength. My mind was too restless with what happened. I returned to my own room instead.
I spent the next few days at my house, turning away even my cousin. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want company. Though after a day I found myself back at the Order’s house. Dusk was sitting near the fireplace with tea. Tea sounded really good right then. She offered some to me as well as her ear to listen to what troubled my heart.
I explained it all to her. The events of that day outside of Castrum Occidens. My desire to kill and be killed. Only for my life to be spared in the end. Saved by my Uncle and his companions. Leon… I admitted to how broken I was afterwards. Not understanding why I was still alive back then. Her words though helped to soothe some of the pain that plagued my heart the last few days. Dusk and I might not always see eye to eye… But right then I was grateful for her warm presence.
Life returned to relatively normal for about a day. Apparently though at dinner I found I had missed something important. There was so much tension. Rhisi pulled Nate and myself aside. We were told about an incident in the Order’s past before either of us had joined. An incident involving Oni and the siblings. An Castrum Occidens…
I was warned about Leera being invited into the house. Damn it… I couldn’t sit there an argue with Rhisi though. I left things at that. Choosing to say very little.
I found Nate in the garden the next day. I had intended to head to Wineport. Alone if needed. This was my problem. I couldn’t take the chance that the Order could end up in another situation like that again. If I was forced into Occidens right now… I would be useless… Unable to function… A liability.
Nate however offered to help me. I wanted to refuse. Didn’t want him to watch. Didn’t want to show him just how truly broken I am… Yet… I allowed him to come with me. To be my anchor. To force me home again if I found myself unable to keep going. Because I trust Nate.
I forced myself to go as close to that Castrum as I could. Tried so hard to push further. Yet my legs gave out on me. My body turned traitor to the memories of that day. All I could do was sit there on the ground an tremble like a leaf. Damn it all… Nate’s presence and voice were all I could grasp. I wanted to do better. Yet I had failed… I allowed Nate to sweep me back off to the house.
I will try again. As many times as needed. Until I can overcome whatever part of me I broke that day. I will become stronger. I will not be a liability. Nate offered to continue helping me with this problem. Sweet gentle Nate…
I have not gone back again yet. I have gotten too caught up in the preparations for Starlight. I did though manage to run into Leera in Gridania while running errands for my mother.
Leera looked bad. Well physically he did. I asked him about the attack on Lance. He insisted he couldn’t remember. He seemed honest enough in his answer. He also seemed to be far more emotional then usual. I tried to convince him ‘Father’ is just using him. It didn’t work. I tried to change tactics. Tried to sympathize. I do want to help him. Be his friend. Yet for all his praise towards that man… I still feel he would be better off without that man in his life. Forcing him to nearly freeze to death… Driving Leera to the brink of madness if my cousin’s words were to be trusted. I’m not sure I made any progress. Though I feel I understand a bit more. As well as a bit of the way Leera thinks. I did get him to allow me to heal the physical damage though before I left. I think I may have caught him just a bit off guard with calling him my friend though. Yet his words of warning me not to get in trouble for his sake were touching.
Anyways… I better get finished with those Starlight decorations.
Destiney couldn’t help but laugh. Not that his words of him being blinding without a shirt were funny. Merely because she was sure she knew someone who could top him in that. “I bet I have seen someone more blinding then you without a shirt. We do a different beach at the end of each week. Imagine getting to see that once a week. I’m surprised I have any sight left.”
Her easy demeanor faded a bit the closer they got to Wineport. Eyes drifting towards the northeast more then once. Yet she managed to hold onto a smile even if it was not nearly as bright anymore. “Hard to believe it’s been a little over three years since I left here an became who I am today. Though for the better I will admit.”
There’s a deep peace in the snow-covered forest at early dawn. The sun is trying to show its face, fighting through the clouds to sparkle where it strikes the crisp coating of snow and ice.
The first notes hang in the air, shivery and cold just like everything else. They are tentative, unsure. The sound fades, the artist pausing to adjust the tension of the strings to account for the chill before he draws out another piece of the melody.
Even in the stillness and cold of the early morning, he knows the vulnerability presented by this one act. But it’s more than a desire – it’s almost a calling, a need pressed on him by an outside force stronger than himself. He’s purposely far from home, deep in the trees of the Twelveswood where no one in their right mind would be at an hour such as this. Even so, his bow is strung and ready beside him where he can reach it in an instant.
Basteaux draws a bow of another kind over the strings of his violin, his fingers moving with deceptive ease to coax notes from the instrument. It sings under his touch, a soaring tribute to the brilliance of the shining world around him.
As the final strains ring through the stillness, he opens his eyes. She’s the first thing he sees, and he immediately drops one bow in order to reach for the other. But there’s recognition after that initial jolt, and he bends to retrieve the abandoned object from the crust of the snow at his feet.
Destiney didn’t mind that he was out of practice. He certainly didn’t play like he was. Though the difference in the two pieces was clear. As was the tension in his form. Either way it was still a pleasing piece. This piece was still less… Free then the last. It lacked the same heart and soul. Not that this piece didn’t have a heart of it’s own. It was just less. Too structured.
“I’m sorry, Basteaux.” She hadn’t missed that look on his face when he finished. Maybe she shouldn’t have asked him to play for her specifically. But there was something about it that she couldn’t resist. Now she felt guilty for ruining his mood. Never had it been her intention to disrupt his morning in this way. “I did not mean to ruin your morning.”
Destiney. She was meant to be modeled after me in a way. Not completely mind you of course. But there is always that one OC I tend to want to have some connection to me on a personal level. Destiney was that pick for XIV.
Her life isn’t like mine but her emotional state is. A lot of ups and downs but generally a sweetheart with good intentions. Makes mistakes and doubts herself quite often. An in general just wants to make people happy.
There is nothing beautiful about the wreckage of a human being. There is nothing pretty about damage, about pain, about heartache. What is beautiful is their strength, their resilience, their fortitude as they display an ocean of courage when they pick through the wreckage of their life to build something beautiful brand new, against every odd that is stacked against them.
(Not a journal entry. This is written more in the style that I write for Lance. I still plan to do a journal entry later if I have time. This is more the feelings and thoughts after Dest’s first Starlight party with her free company. For personal mentions: @jonahsage@chocobohealer@sunshineandlotus )
Destiney looked around her room before placing the several new items down on the table. Her eyes were watery as she looked down at the gifts. Every word she had said she had meant them. Every last one. Fingers trailed over the gifts she hadn’t chosen to wear yet. Finally reaching up to remove the ones she had decided to wear.
Gifts from those she had chosen to call family. Precious lovely family. Tears ran down her cheeks as she ran her fingers over the purple violas with the bit of old white ribbon woven in among the purple and silver hairpiece.
Nate didn’t have to do it. That ribbon had only been a reminder of the girl she had used to be. It hadn’t graced her hair since the first time she had cut it. Right after Leon’s passing. But now… Now it was something new again. A fresh start for that old ribbon. Just like how the Order had been her fresh start. Her hand left that hairpiece to touch the green stone she wore on a loose necklace.
Only half the stone it once was. The other half now graced another. She hoped that Rhisi wouldn’t mind. It had been a part of the ritual Rhisi had preformed for her when she was still relatively new among the Order. A gift meant to bring her good luck and comfort. She had chosen to share a bit of that precious stone with Nate. Half that stone was now his in a similar necklace. He had been her rock. Together they were more then alone. Two broken souls who were so much stronger together. She couldn’t think of anyone who deserved to share that stone with her more then Nate did.
Her hand covered her mouth to try an hold off the urge to cry. Not unhappy tears though. There was so much love to be found here among her family. Slowly she lowered that hand to trail over the beautiful hairpiece Tara had made for her. So intricate and pretty as it all weaved together an accented with a bit of purple stone. A hand reaching up to touch the ends of her shorter locks. She still felt bad that Tara had meant the gift for her hair before she had cut it again. A soft smile forming on her lips. It just meant she would have to let her hair grow again. Just as she continued to grow as a person.
Next her hand touched the lovely earrings Rhisi had given her. Rhisi… Like a second mother. Always so kind and warm. Always talking sense into her when she needed it most. Providing succor for the healer with the broken soul. Giving her a place she could truly love and be proud to call home. Guiding her back from the darkest parts of her own heart. With a smile and kind words.
Kagato. Silly Pirate. A warm smile on her lips. He was still so distant yet she felt she had at least gotten a bit behind that goofy front at least once back after that injury with the shrapnel. Top shelf wine, a bag of cookies, and a silver necklace with a small bit of garnet. He had been far too kind with words and gifts this night. Yet… She was glad to see as much as he kept people at arm’s length… He did care.
Aras. Sweet Aras had even given her a gift. It was unexpected. She wished she had had more to offer the girl besides the cookies she had attempted to make. They seemed to have turned out well enough despite her limited cooking skills. At least the girl would have something to eat while hiding in the archives. Even if they were cookies. Food was still food for a bookworm who sometimes forgot to eat.
This was her family. Even those who only gave the gift of their warmth an acceptance. This was home. Now she did cry. She was so fortunate to be among them. To be accepted. Broken parts and all.
Spirit of the Warlock 