Tag: Destiney’s Adventures

Strength of Will

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

Destiney wasn’t sure what to think when she woke the next day. Her body ached as she moved from bed towards the bath. No more adrenaline to keep the pain away. Carefully removing the wrapping on her arm before climbing into the heated water. A soft sigh as she closed her eyes. Gods above the water right now was a blessing.

Lance might put her through a good deal of work with training but last night… That was more then she ever expected. Three sparring matches in one night against her own company mates. The final match a loss but still more then enough.

A slight frown on her face. Both Frost and Yuti had refused her offered hand after their matches. Frost wasn’t so much surprising since his was a case of wounded pride. Beaten by a girl. By the lovely Shroud healer. A man who was normally able to fell people much stronger. Yet she had struck him three times. Snatched the win away from him with being just nimble enough to avoid most of his attacks on her. If the fight had dragged on too long, he most likely would have been the winner instead.

Yuti however… There was a rift between them. It felt like it only kept growing rather then shrinking. Not that she hated Yuti. Far from it. Maybe this was just a battle she wasn’t meant to win. Stop trying to bridge the gap that had grown. A soft sigh as she knew she couldn’t make everyone get along with her. At least Yuti hadn’t told her to piss off as Frost had. Just gotten to her feet without accepting the offered hand.

In the end she had lost to Oni. A soft chuckle. Making it far further then she had dared hope. Thinking she would have lost in that very first match. Granted Oni had pretty much had the upper hand the entire fight. After two matches before it was almost not surprising that she had flagged in that last round.

Climbing from the water and drying before dressing. Walking over to her table with her make-up and jewels. Fingers pausing over the earrings. Going for the newest one in her collection. Well not really newest. She had found a way to turn her bit of red string into an earring. A reminder she could easily wear without fear of losing it in a fight. After all she rarely lost an earring. Placing the single earring on right ear before setting about on the rest of her daily routine. Her reminder that she was never alone. That she always had people she was connected to by fate.

Moving over towards the desk where she had left the sword last night after Oni had told her to hold on to it. A blink of surprise as she paused. Almost cautiously reaching out towards it. The knight’s sword had accepted her last night in the end. Fully and completely. However today… It’s shape was different now. Eyes widening as she lightly traced a finger over the fine blade. A rapier now. Shaped to a weapon fit for her. Complete with a crystal for casting. Closing her eyes as she rested her fingers against the blade. Letting that gentle hum of power call to her. Fingers wrapping around the hilt and lifting it from the desk.

“Hello, friend. I think we are going to get along just fine. Let us show that knight back to the path he strayed from.” A soft smile as she held the blade vertical before her. The shine of the aether the blade housed as she held it before her.

-Do you really think you can do it? Do you really think you stand a chance?-

Destiney turned to see that familiar shade. That mocking shadow. Except it didn’t seem to be mocking now. It’s face, her face, was passive.

“I do.” The words were soft, a whisper. But that whisper held conviction. Determination. “With the rest of the Order. Not alone. We are stronger together. I am stronger with them.”

The shade faded. Like mist in the morning sun. Destiney closed her eyes and smiled. Last night was truly something she was proud of. All the work. All the training. She was truly making progress. Proving she could be more then she thought. Not just the pretty Shroud healer.

One day at time. With her friends and family at her side. With the man she loved.

Heading for the stairs. Wanting to head outside and get more comfortable with this new blade.

Fallen Rain

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

The last few days had been a blur between waking and sleeping. Syluss’s comforting presence keeping her grounded to an extent. She hadn’t had the drive or want to do much after the events of their last mission. The nightmares hadn’t even stilled with Syl’s comforting presence. Not this time. Vaguely remembered her brother’s concerned presence when she refused to do their usual lesson the next day.

Everything just felt sort of… Hollow. Even as she walked through the Shroud while the rain fell down. Closing her eyes and just tipping her face into the drops that fell.

Wincing as her mind recalled the events again with her eyes now closed. Her feeble attempts to protect herself and fight back. Anata… Anata’s sword swinging at her after one of the headache inducing waves of darkness had struck.

A thump as her body fell backwards onto the wet leaves and grass. Normally blue eyes staring straight up into the rain with a faint glow. That normal shade of cerulean blue lightened to almost ice. Staring blankly for a long moment before drifting closed.

“Are you really going to keep losing it now? I always thought you were tougher then this. What a shame really.”

Destiney blinked as she slowly looked around the darkness. No rain. No forest. Just impenetrable darkness. No sign of some other person with her despite hearing a voice. A familiar feminine voice at that.

“Who is there?” Her voice sounded small even to herself as she sat up to better look around.

“You know who I am. You’ve always known who I am. You just never want to admit to it. You’re scared. Until that day you fully accept the truth… You always will be scared. You will never truly move forward past it.”

Destiney climbed slowly and stiffly to her feet. Feeling for her bow or sword. Neither were there. The edges of fear at being alone in the dark with whatever was taunting her… She took a shaky breath as she tried to focus her aether. Again she was unarmed. Not even aether responding to her.

“Stop being such a coward. Stop hiding behind tools.” A dark clothed figure finally stepping forward. Eyes glowing softly with a blue aether. But nothing more could be discerned in this darkness.

“They banished you. Go away you demon.”
Destiney tensed and readied herself for a possible fight. Even then her hands still shook.

The being shook her head as she sighed in disappointment. “The demon is long gone. You know that. Stop running from the truth! Open your eyes and accept your fate!”

Destiney flinched when the figure’s shape changed. A Imperial with a sneer on his face. Sword in hand. Shaking her head as she took an unsteady step back away. That look… That man… All far too familiar. The fear threatened to swallow her whole.

Suddenly the Imperial lunged for her. Sword aimed for her heart. Just like then. Just like before. Only as the figured lunged, it changed shape. A familiar face. A trusted friend. A part of her family.

Anata’s face. Anata’s sword. Blue eyes widened in surprise. Froze her in place long enough for that sword to plunge right into her chest. Gaze moving to Anata‘s face. The shield woman’s face was expressionless. Tears began to fall down Destiney’s cheeks as she stared at the face of a person she would never expect to harm her.

The voice was now distorted. Like one voice layered over another as it spoke. “Wake up to the truth. Otherwise… You are dead.”

Destiney gasped as her eyes bolted open. Still icy blue and faintly glowing with aether. Breathing rapidly in short gasps. Rain still pelting down over her prone form. Clothes clearly soaked now. Just how long had she passed out for?

It took her a long several moments more before she began to move to a sitting position. Letting the aether fade from her grasp as she began to calm down slowly. Still alone in the woods. Burying her face in her hands.

Was she going mad? Was this her fate? To lose her mind because of something that was entirely her fault?

Anata’s sword flashed through her mind again. Maybe fate wanted her to die… But… She didn’t want to die. What would everything have been for then? She’d lose everything. She’d lose Syluss… Her family… Her friends…

Destiney climbed to her feet as she wrapped her arms around herself. The chill of the rain didn’t bother her so much as her thoughts did. Taking a deep breath before moving forwards. She had to keep moving forward. Had to keep being stronger then the things trying to kill her. It just hurt so much… All she could do was hold onto the things that gave her a reason to fight.

Towards Change

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Destiney stood in her officer coat before the wall. It was the safest of any of the castrums. Being that it was currently in control of the alliance and not the Garleans. She had no idea if that would affect what she planned to do. Yet she had to try. Had to see.

Probably was not the smartest move to come in uniform. People asked less questions though this way. She was still currently on leave of duty. Supposed to be with Ikara training though that wasn’t what she had told the Flames when she took her leave. Ikara though had went off in search of Lloire. Left her alone to work on learning red magic. Her weapon hanging comfortable against her hip.

Being back around the Order for three days in a row had left her feeling raw. Had left her with a need to prove to herself. To prove that she could change. That her leaving several moons ago had not been for nothing.

Still the feelings and the draw towards a place she had once called home left her hurting in different ways. Not all of them bad. She missed it. The meals together like a family. The beach nights to relax and just converse. That sense of truly belonging. Of a calling for something greater. Being a healer for those crazy fools.

Now however she wanted to prove to herself she could change. That she could be worth something more. Worthy of Yuti’s praise of saying she was stronger. Of Quarcy’s words saying her aether was blossoming. Still she lacked faith in herself while they had all the faith in her. Her family had left her feeling weak and vulnerable. Her blood family, not the one she made. Everything those men had done to her had made her doubt herself. Made her make poor choices. If she wanted to fix those choices she had to try. Had to prove to herself she was changing. For the better.

She felt the edges of that familiar panic as she stood there. Like demons lurking in the shadows. Yet this time there was no Nate by her side as she looked towards the wall of the castrum. No Ikara to help her quell the urge to bolt. The memories lingered at the edges of her mind.

Hey, its not the Garelans you are afraid of… its what you would do to them, and that isn’t cowardice. That is strength. To fight against that hatred.

Ikara… She fought back the urge to cry. Maybe the girl had a point. Maybe it was her own self she had been afraid of all this time. Of just what she could or would do if she went back down that path. A path she did not want to go down again. Never would she kill in cold blood again.

Felix, Oni, Frost, Leera… People she had met along the way to this point had changed her views. Changed them for the better. Shown her the world was not black and white. Not good and evil. That some could walk in very gray zones.

One step forward. Followed by another and another as she began to walk forward. Closer. Towards the waiting Castrum. Her steps hesitant at first but growing bolder with every step.

“No more. I won’t be weak anymore.” Destiney whispered to herself as she took a deep breath and kept walking. Her hands balling into fists at her sides. Her gaze becoming determined. “I have changed and I won’t be haunted by memories anymore.”

She needed to be stronger. For those she cared about. For herself. She was tired of being vulnerable. Tired of fearing she would fail those she cared about when they needed her most. All because of some bad memories. Fire and steel. Wasn’t that what Dusk had said she had inside her waiting for when the moment was right? Well something along those words. It was time to change. Time to truly blossom.

Family Bonds

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(Sort of a two part in one writing. Starting out with Stefan and Destiney. An then moving to Lancefer and Destiney. @ishgardiansnow An there is a purpose to this. It’s… laying the ground work for Dest moving towards becoming a RDM like her FFXI version once was. I realize there will be a lot of people going to RDM probably but Dest on FFXI was ICly a RDM and I would love to push her back towards that path again. I miss her FFXI counterpart.)

Barely a word between them over the last nine years. Entirely separate lives that barely crossed. Now they stood in the same yard. Her yard.

She had still been shocked the day she had found her brother at their childhood home. Stefan had actually returned home. Actually visited mother for a change. It was the first time she had seen her brother since running into him in Ul’dah about two years ago and telling him about their father. Nine years since he had run away from home.

Mother had sent him with her when they went to a party Soren and Lloire had been throwing. He had been reluctant and tried his best to remain out of sight while there. She had not expected him to answer her message now with his behavior then.

Yet here he stood on her lawn. Looking confident and proud as he stood with one hand on his hip. Watching her with a curious look.

“Are you sure this is what you want to do? To learn spells of this kind?” His tone was not condescending. But edged with a concerned caution. “You’ve never displayed interest in this sort of thing before.”

“I want to learn. There is…” Her voice trails off as she looks down to her hands. The talks of a war on the horizon. The possibility her work with the Immortal Flames could put her over there among it. The kidnappings. She was tired of being a victim. Tired of being vulnerable. “More reason then ever for me to learn this now. Stefan…”

A wave of a hand as he smiles ever so slightly. “So now it is my turn to be the better sibling. About time I will admit.” He motions for her to stand over towards the maple tree. “I’m sure you already know most of the basics. If Uncle didn’t teach you then… Well he was a fool if he didn’t. Shall we get to work then?”

Destiney nodded to her twin. Never had she used aether in this fashion. For healing and protection yes. Not for fighting. It was still something that would not solve her entire problem. However it was a start. Something more to defend herself with.

They worked for hours. Until Stefan made them stop as evening began to approach. Claiming they needed to eat. Destiney was almost relieved when he even offered to cook. It was a simple dish but filling. At least one of them had some decent cooking skills. Destiney needed to remember to bother J’siris for some more lessons sometime. A comfortable silence settled between them as they ate.

Stefan had left with a promise to come back again tomorrow. More practice until he felt her skills acceptable.

It wasn’t long after he left that Lance came by her house. Destiney had also contacted him. Whether it be through magic or weapons… One way or another she would stand a better chance at protecting herself and those she cared about. No more victim.

“Here. Ready to practice?” Lance asked with a warm smile as he held out an old training sword for her to take. “We’ll start with the basics and as you get comfortable I’ll teach you more. I’ve had years at this. Don’t be disappointed if this takes time.”

“Of course. I know it takes time.” Destiney said with a nod as she tested the weight of the weapon. Wielding a bow was vastly different then a sword. The weight was odd in her hand but not uncomfortable.

“Do you ever plan to explain what has given you this sudden drive to use a sword?” Lance asked as he positioned the training dummy to his satisfaction. “Or is this something you would rather keep quiet?”

“Lance… I… I can’t tell you. I wish I could but… It’s not something I should. Please respect that.” Destiney frowned as she remembered the incident with Aeri. Aeri’s words about Lance and Alex. More to the picture. If he wasn’t willing to talk about Alex then she wasn’t willing to talk about Aeri. Mostly because she was afraid of her cousin’s reaction. To the idea that Dest had been kidnapped again. Especially since it involved both Alex and Aeri.

A disgusted sigh and shake of his head. “Fine. I won’‘t push. You know I never would. If you said it’s better not discussed then fine. Let’s begin.”

The Shadowed Truth

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@aeritria @sorenspath @ishgardiansnow (for mentions of Aeri, Soren, and Alexois)

Destiney sat in the chair before her desk. Had not slept yet since Soren had brought her home. Too much on her mind to sleep. Restless thoughts running through her head at an endless pace.

Her fingers lightly caressed the lime green stone with it’s carved surface. “Leon…”

Blue eyes shimmered slightly as she looked up. Expecting to see the ghost of the man she had loved at one point in time. Before illness had claimed him from her too soon. See that bright smiling face. Hear the soft thrum of the strings on his harp. Yet nothing appeared to her now… No hint of the soul trapped.

Had he finally moved on at some point and she hadn’t noticed? Somehow she doubted it. Though she wasn’t sure what had changed either. Was it because of this name that he didn’t appear?

A heavy sigh as she sat back and looked up towards the ceiling.

Kidnapped again… Frankly she was tired of being a victim. Especially tired of being bait to get to Soren. However it hadn’t be Alexois to take her this time. No this time it had been Aeri. The woman had been gentle and promised not to hurt her. She just wanted a name Soren was holding from Alexois.

Alexois… Somehow he just kept popping back up into her life. She thought it was over and done with when her family drama was done. Apparently not. Now there was the dilemma of this name.

Yet she had agreed to help get the name from Soren. Aeri had insisted Alexois was trying to be better. If she had turned down Aeri’s words without even listening… Hypocrite. That’s what she would have been. She tried hard to prove that Leera wasn’t a monster. So if she insisted now that Alexois was nothing more then a monster just because of his actions taken for this name… Unacceptable. It was a hard truth to bear though. To think that someone like Alexois…

She still remembered that leer on his face when he had Lance at sword point in Coerthas. Aeri insisted here was much more to the story then Destiney knew. Truths hidden in shadows.

Her blue eyes drifted to the name she had written down. The one she had argued with Soren to get. Then to the stone her fingers lightly danced over.

Raitmeaux Chassebel… Chassebel… Leonceault Chassebel. Alexois and Leon had been half brothers according to Soren. Raitmeaux had fathered them both to different mothers.

Soren had thought he was protecting her by keeping this name from Alexois. Because this name was a connection to Leon.. He hadn’t thought it mattered so he hadn’t told her. Kept the truth from her. Hadn’t thought it would affect her. Honestly it shouldn’t have. Yet it did. Because of Leon…

So many things Soren kept from her. As if she needed to be protected from the dark truths. Hadn’t told her of his bargain with Alexois for this name. Didn’t tell her how he had tried to kill Alexois over this name. Aeri had told her. Told her the way Soren was killing Alexois slowly and painfully. Soren had assumed what was best for her instead of being honest. At least until last night when she confronted him and used guilt like a weapon. Just as Aeri had told her to.

Her hands rubbed over her face with a disgruntled sigh.

Her words had been heated and honest. But they were words that Soren needed to hear. She was tired of being protected from the truth just because it would be a hard truth. Because he wasn’t honorable. At the same time he also still seemed to refuse to hear her.

“For once it’s not about you. It’s not that I believe you can’t handle it or that you are fragile or pure. It’s not that I think you need to be sheltered damn it. It’s how I see myself through your eyes… And what I see… I don’t like it, but I can’t change it.”

Soren… She knew her last words after that had been harsh. Almost cruel. But they were honestly how she felt. Raw and honest.

“How I see you? You couldn’t care how I see you when you chose her over me! I never asked you to hide who you are. It shouldn’t matter. Not that my opinion seems to matter much though.”

She rubbed at her wet cheeks. Somewhere along the line she had begun to silently cry again. All she wanted now was her life back to the way things used to be.

Yet now she had the weight of that name. The decision was hers. Aeri had promised. Had kept to her promise though she had been there to get that name for Alexois. Now it was Destiney’s choice. To possibly condemn this man to an ill fate depending on what Alexois wanted his father’s name. Why he went to the lengths he did to get it. Working for the Aurifore just for the sake of this name. Could she do that to Leon’s father though he had never talked about the man before?

“Twelve forgive me…”

Aeri’s words about Alexois having never been given a chance before. Never having the chance to be anything but a monster. Being used and discarded like a mongrel. How was it fair if she didn’t give him a chance… Maybe he just wanted family. All she could do was pray that she wasn’t sentencing the man to death. Leon’s own father. Hands reaching for pen and paper. Writing to Aeri with her answer.

Aeri,

Soren gave me the name. It has been… A hard choice on whether or not to give this name to Alexois. Twelve forgive me if I am making the wrong choice and condemning a man to death. You walked away when you seen what the name Leon meant to me. There is a story behind that name though I’m not sure it matters to anyone but myself. His name was Leonceault Chassebel. Apparently he was Alexois’ half brother. The name Alexois wants… Is Raitmeaux Chassebel… Leon’s father. As well as Alexois’ father. I only hope and pray that I am making the right choice in handing over this information. In giving Alexois a chance to prove he is more then the monster I seen.

-Destiney

Angels and Demons

On By destiney1984Leave a comment
image

( @sorenspath )

Destiney sat there at the table in Soren and Lloire’s kitchen. Notebook and various writing and drawing stuff spread out. A snack towards the center with a glass of juice. Her shoulder was stiff but healing from the arrow she had taken. The second round of medicine that Soren had left for her had been taken. Of course she could have healed her own injury by now that she was better recovered. But was it worth it?

A heavy sigh as she stretched a little bit before picking up a pen to begin writing. The thoughts had been on her mind since last night when she had come to Soren dying. Fingers went to her lips for a brief moment. Remembering that startling kiss he had used to shock her back awake. The apologies and words exchanged after she was out of danger. How much would change between them since their heart shredding fight even though they had apologized to one another… Would things be the same or would they alter? She wasn’t sure but at least she still had had him as her precious friend even if not as anything more. Yet she still wished to write in her journal on the thoughts that had been swirling in her head since.

An odd pairing to be true. What had drawn the angel to such a dark and troubled soul? How was it that two such opposite creatures had become so close? So entangled in each other.

An Angel. Come to explore the world and all it had to offer. Curiosity that burned so bright. Only to be wounded and trapped by the monsters that were eager to devour such a warm and brilliant light.

Alone with broken wings. Threatened to be consumed by the darkness. The angel felt so terribly alone. Yet there were some monsters not so eager to devour such a creature. Curiosity called to them to this beautiful creature of light.

Yet one stood out more then the other monsters who she managed to befriend. One who made her feel like more then some shiny jewel to be guarded like treasure. One whom she began to feel closer towards then the other few monsters who chose to pay attention to her without harming her. A monster with green tattoos on his face.

That monster protected her from those that meant her harm. Watched over her from a distance at first. Yet something about her drew him in like a moth to a flame. Her light was a temptation he couldn’t resist. So he drew closer to her despite knowing what she was. Despite knowing they were like opposite sides of a coin.

Something about his particular darkness drew her in. She wanted to be a light for him. For this monster… He made her feel safe and happy. For the first time since she had been injured she truly felt safe when he was around.

Together they were stronger. The angel healed his wounds and offered his tormented soul bits of peace. While he protected and sheltered her from the very monsters who wanted to devour her. There was a sort of harmony to the balance they brought each other.

Together they were so much more. Light and dark didn’t matter. Angel and monster didn’t matter. Together they were special. They were whole and they were as close as two friends could be. That was what mattered most. That they had each other no matter what the world threw at them.

Destiney yawned as she traded in her pen for things to begin drawing. She wanted to make a picture to go with this. Something about it felt right. Felt proper. She wasn’t the best at art. Nor did she know is she would ever show anyone what she wrote or drew. Yet all that mattered was the peace of mind doing this had given her.

As she finished she set her head down on the table. Her mind had been too full with thoughts to have slept well despite her injury. Now that she felt spent… Now all she wanted was to sleep again. Soren would probably sigh and shake his head that she was choosing to take a nap at the table. Probably should have closed her journal even so he wouldn’t see. Sleep however was stronger. Her eyes drifted close with a warm smile on her face.

Mixed Feelings

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( @sorenspath @cheetah-smith-ffxiv @hedgearcher )

Destiney laid on the bed in Soren’s house. Staring up at the ceiling. Mind wandering down many different paths. Everything had happened to quickly she had had barely any time to digest the things that had occurred.

Now that she was safe… It was almost funny she felt more safe here around Soren then anywhere else. Nate had made her feel safe but… Something about the way Nate made her feel and the way Soren made her feel was different. Why was it with Soren she felt she could be entirely vulnerable but still completely safe? Why was it with Nate she felt the need to hide her feelings?

Destiney rolled over to her side and touched her fingers to her lips. Never before had she even tried to kiss Nate. He had seemed uncomfortable enough with simple hugs. Even if she had only kissed Soren on the cheek. It was still not something she had ever considered doing with Nate. No matter how many times he protected her. Her fingers moved to the hair that Soren had brushed from her face. His touch so gentle. She felt her cheeks warm at the thought of the private moment between them last night.

He had come to rescue her. Nate had not. A part of her couldn’t help but be hurt at that simple thing. That despite leaving a goodbye only Soren between the two of them had come to save her with the others.

Soren… He was always protecting her. Had taken an arrow for her. Seemed as if he would tear down every foe that tried to harm her. She pulled the plush cactuar on the bed closer to hold it tight. Even coated in blood last night, all she seen was Soren. The blood hadn’t even come to mind then. How many people had fallen to his blades in the path of destruction to reach her? Did it even matter? No… That was the odd part. It should have mattered. Yet… All she could feel was relief.

Soren and her friends had come for her. That was all that mattered. Though it stung that Yuti was the only one from the people she had called family to want to save her. Sweet caring Yuti. Not Nate.

Maybe this was why it felt so much like her path from the Order was diverting. As much as she had loved the people there… It was time she moved on again. They had helped her heal. Yet it was not where she was meant to remain. Her path merely crossed theirs for a time.

Yet when the chips were down she still had family. Just not the one she had expected. Those that came to her aid when things looked grim. They were her family. They were her fated connections.

Her soul sister Chee. Sweet yet determined Yuti. Dangerous yet funny Kagato.
Kind and protective Soren.

Even Tara who the last time they had seen each other had been at odds.

As Chee had said, Dest was and would always be an Outsider. Not in the way one might consider the word. It was their close circle of friends. They weren’t always together but they always had each others backs.

Tara had been the most shocking of her saviors. Even Nix coming along with Chee had not been as much of a surprise as Tara was. The last time she had seen Tara had been at Costa. They had argued. Dest had merely been trying to be a concerned friend. Tara had mistaken that concern for something else. Yet no matter how much Dest tried to make her understand or apologize… It hadn’t been enough. Yet Tara was there last night. Had joined in the effort to rescue her. Had Tara done it for Lance? Or was there hope they could bridge the gap between them? It was not something she could answer on her own.

Kagato… She knew a part of him harbored a darkness. That he changed when that eye patch was gone. It should have scared her. Should have made her want to run the other way. To see the savage fury with which he dealt with the people holding her captive… Yet all she wanted was to find him and check on his well being. She wasn’t afraid. If she feared him when she had already bared her throat to another dangerous predator… No. She wouldn’t fear him for the darkness he carried. All she wanted still was to be his friend. Even the dark parts of him. They were part of who he was. Part that needed accepted with the good.

Was that why she could look at Soren despite the blood her wore last night? Because she had begun to truly accept all the parts of a person? The good and the bad. She had heard before that if you truly loved someone you accepted every part of who they were. Broken, dark, or whatever else it may be.

Her eyes widened slightly with the thought, burying her burning face against the plush in her arms. Was that the difference between them? That maybe what she felt towards Nate wasn’t really love? Not in the same sense of what she was feeling towards Soren. Maybe it was like loving a best friend. Like her soul sister Chee. Hurting from her marriage loss, maybe she had looked at Nate for more then she should have. Let her feelings get confused.

Was it the same for Soren then? Was she just confused again? No… Something about this felt different. Almost as if Menphina was giving her a nudge. Could she risk putting her heart on the line? It wasn’t a simple answer. Yet Soren always made her feel safe even when he was coated in the blood of the people who would have rather seen her dead. But what did Soren feel? That was the real problem. She didn’t know what he felt towards her.

She continue to lay in the bed. Thinking. Letting her thoughts wander. Eventually she would have to get up and face the world again. Not quite yet though. Just a little while longer.