Tag: ffxiv balmung

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(Oh gawd. It’s been so long since I last wrote a journal entry for Dest. Time to make up for it. x_x Bad me! Another entry not really done in a series of what has happened in a week. Cause it’s been too long an I can’t remember everything. An because I scrapped the original stuff I had written last night. Trying to recap everything was proving harder then I wanted it to be. So I decided just to go over certain events instead. Whatever Dest felt was worth writing about this time. Besides probably better this way anyways as I start doing RPs in other ways besides in the game. Just let her write her thoughts of certain situations instead.)

It’s been a time since I’ve last written in here. I was… emotionally distraught last time. Things are… A mix between better an worse. Depends upon which day we speak of. Am I as upset as the last time I wrote? No. Am I still… Gods I don’t know. The things I’ve seen and had to think on in the time between then and now…

The missions and the missing kids. Yes more missing kids which we found and rescued this time thankfully. Dealing with missing supplies only to have to deal with our masked foe and corrupted fire elementals and the undead… Our missions have been getting more and more dangerous. Dealings with a fanatic crazed with some sort of being named Gaia. It’s a lot to take in. A lot to understand. It leaves me scratching my head an wondering where to find the answers. We can’t even touch our masked foe. Twelve be merciful… We need to get to the bottom of this before anyone else gets hurt. Aras was hurt in the fight with the masked foe and his behemoth. Quarcy was hurt in the fight with the masked foe an his tortoise and fire elementals. I am tired of watching the others get hurt. There has to be answers somewhere. There just has to be…

On a plus side to the time I’ve spent… I am back on good terms once more with Felix and Dusk. Though they have both multiple times cautioned me against Leera. Both of them have. I know they mean well.

But I hold to what I believe. I believe Leera can be a better person. He just needs the right influences. He’s been nothing short of caring when I talk to him. Alright sometimes he seems a little cold. But he’s always been honest. He even gave me a potion of sorts in case I were to get hurt. Which of course Felix seems to insist is some kind of poison. I highly doubt it is. Leera gave it to me while we were discussing Oni.

Speaking of Oni… I got to witness him hunting by accident. Wrong place, wrong time… To think… Our head of security can behave like that… To know what he is capable of… I understand now why Leera warned me. I was never more thankful in that moment to have that linkpearl to contact Leera with. I was so afraid I couldn’t think straight. I thought for sure I was going to end up as Oni’s next meal. An to watch him… No I can’t recall it. It still makes me feel ill.

Felix seems to think I need to keep an open mind. I’ve always had an open mind. But this… This is wrong on so many levels. Nate said Oni wanted to apologize. I’m not sure I want to be alone in the same room with him. I’m not sure I can trust him after what I saw. After everything I’ve been told between Leera and Raiden. I’m not sure what to think right now… I’m not sure I will ever be able to look at him in the same way again. There might always be that fear now.

I’m hoping to see Leera again soon. I’m hoping to finish discussing some of what was mentioned before Dusk showed up during our last chat. Hopefully…

Ah… I will have to finish writing another time. There is a knock on my door. Might be Chee or her brother. It is unusual for me to have guests at my personal home.

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

(Awww my poor Lance. He looks so sad from this camera angle. But he has good reason. Which I told @michisilver I planned to write about since we didn’t have a chance to RP it out with the fact I have company all weekend.)

Lance had been over the moon to go to that wedding as Miu’s date. Though being on display to her friends and free company had been a tad bit embarrassing. Though the mood had sobered up a bit once they had been alone. Well mostly alone even though one of her drunk friends slept on in the room next to where they had stood.

She had asked after his well being since it had been days since they had last met. He hadn’t wanted to worry her. Hadn’t wanted to admit he had an encounter with Savara. He had been in Camp Dragonhead at the time when Savara made yet another appearance. His wounds had been minor in comparison to those also injured in fending off the dragon. But he had not been able to lie to her. Not to Miu.

Unfortunately his work had kept her from seeing her again for a few days. Thankfully it had been an uneventful few days. No more injuries to report. Those that he had had were fine with a little healing help from Miu the last they were together. However…

He had not expected the wound that was dealt when he met with Miu last night. It was not physical but emotional. She had broken things off between them. His family had gotten between them. Not in a literal sense. But she had been worried about him. Worried about his future if they remained together. She had not also been ready. Seeing her ex-lover at the wedding had reminded her of painful times.

Lance’s fist hit the stone wall. The metal of his gauntlet protecting his hand from more then possibly bruising. He was disappointed and upset about this turn in his life. He heaved a sigh as he leaned against the wall, resting his forehead against the cold stone.

Miu wanted to remain his friend and steadfast ally. She still wanted to help him explore that dreaded place in his mad quest. Still cared about him. Just not in the way he had hoped. But he still had her in his life. They had only dated twice. He had hoped too soon. It was his own fault really. He knew better. But it still stung. Still hurt that his family was part of the reason for what happened last night.

As soon as he was released from duty for the day he went out into the cold frigid air of Coerthas. The air burned his lungs as he took a long walk. He needed to clear his head and his heart.

He would be fine. He knew he would be. He just needed a few days to process all that had happened. He would maintain a friendship with Miu. A ghost of a smile crossing his lips at the thought of her. He’d allow himself a few days to mourn what could have been. Then life would have to continue. He had a job to do. A life to live. A cousin to protect. An a High House to serve. Life would move on as it always did. He would not hide himself away forever. Just a few days. He just needed a few days.

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Pictures~! Mostly from FC events. Which sometimes create wonderful picture chances for Dest. An I just had to leave the last one with the chat box cause it was hilarious. XD Chee had said something about Oni licking the doors. So Dest told him to go lick a door. An Oni got the right door up until Room 6. (Dest sitting on the fireplace was me being silly while helping Felix with his apartment decorations.)

@onidephor @kindlingdusk @cheetah-smith-ffxiv @jonahsage @eyesseeingbeyondtheveil @sunshineandlotus

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

Dest’s adventures for the past weekish. Including running into @housealderscorn again (maybe one of these days soon hopefully for maybe RP. Love having conversations with you an showing off outfits though!) 😀 The rest are members of the Order for the most part. Including @jonahsage who’s Nate never seems to be very far from Dest when he’s around. It’s so adorable. ❤ She has like her own special protector. It’s killing me with cuteness. XD

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(Okay. Got done with the journal post for Destiney. Now to get a bit of writing done for Lance. Cause he has had a wonderful few days. ^^ Yay~!)

Lance felt like he was walking on air as he went to his next day of duty in Skyfire Locks. He may not have been able to find his cousin but his day with Miu had been nothing short of perfect.

Finding his cousin still worried his mind though. The few days he had shadowed her before his date had left him troubled. She had seemed so… Disturbed. There just had not been the usual mood about her. She had seemed so detached an almost… Broken. This was not the cousin he had gotten used to spying on. Something was clearly wrong.

He tried to keep his thoughts on Miu as he worked. He had kissed the girl for crying out loud. Even more that she had kissed him back! But slowly his thoughts became troubled with other problems. If his family found out about his affections for the small miqo’te woman… They would surely cast him out. Even if he was no longer heir to the family name he had still been expected to marry well an carry on the family name. This would not be the kind of woman they expected him to end up with.

A frown creased his brow as he looked out over the winter landscape of Coerthas. How was he to keep protecting both ladies? He had to find a way to keep all the truths hidden behind lies to his family.

He had to find his cousin as soon as he could. He was worried for her. He had tried last night to find her with no success. His cousin apparently did not want to be found. Not that he had had much luck finding Raiden either. He still wanted to seek Raiden for training or at least to challenge the man in hopes of strengthening himself. Things around the Order’s house had been so… Subdued feeling. Something had happened. Something bad.

Now he just had to wait for his duty to end for the day. He would try again. Destiney was out there somewhere. Hopefully whatever was going on would pass if he could not. Miu had told him to speak with Destiney. He was done hiding in the shadows.

A heavy sigh as he looked away from the snow. He was worried for his future and the future of his cousin. His future with Miu. But he could not be afraid. He had to keep fighting. No more hiding in shadows. It was time to be open and honest. It was time to confront the monster head on.

A small smile as he thought again on that day with Miu by the waterfall. Together with her. She was his strength right now. He would get through anything and everything as long as he had her. She was his summer sun in the never ending winter of his life.

Just like a rose. Together they had something beautiful but he was the thorns protecting the beauty an joy that was Miu, the rose.

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

(Okay let’s see if I can get a journal post done now that I got through the asks. 😀 Well all the ones that were currently there. I’ll answer anymore if they show up of course! ^^ I enjoy answering them. It’s quite fun. 😀 This entry though is going to be a bit more emotional an less of a telling of the events of the week since last entry. As I said in an ask earlier, Dest is a bit emotionally unstable right now. Thanks @onidephor, Leera helped break Dest. I hope that smug duskwight bastard is happy an enjoying every minute of it. :P)

Am I really so fragile? Am I truly like broken glass? I overheard Dusk’s words as I lingered near the stairs after changing my clothes to head to the Shroud in hopes of finding Basteaux. I wanted to run upstairs an claim I was not glass! But… Maybe I am…


I must be so broken an be the only one who can not see it. How could I feel nothing about ten dead children! Ten! I felt numb and empty. Yet… I was so near to being sick watching the rest of the Order kill the bandits responsible. I spent the better part of two days wandering about wondering why I felt so little. Was I really so broken I could feel so little about dead children? That I could find no rage. That I could find no killing calm towards those responsible. Had I shattered myself so badly that day outside Occidens that I could no longer find that rage an anger for such a tragedy?


I thought I was going to be okay. I thought I could be strong an help those who needed it. I thought I could repay the kindness I have received ever since joining the Order. I told Rhisi I was fine. That I could find no rage like everyone else could. She hoped I would never find it again. I thought I was fine. But time only made me doubt myself.


I found Leera outside the house a few days ago. I was cautious at first as I usually am. I know what the others think of him. I know I can never fully trust him. But… He seemed like he was actually sorry about the whole incident. I found myself drawn towards him like a moth to a flame.


When Felix showed… I said words I should never had said. I felt as if a slap to my face would have been less painful or even a sword to the gut… He thought… I was stupid for wanting to be around Leera. Even though he was the one who first left me alone with him! Even though he never once thought to ask if I was okay after finding out the truth about Leera in person! He claims Leera is a monster an only wants to kill certain members of the Order… Yet… I see more to the man then that. I can see some shred of good in him. I want to believe that maybe there is a chance he can be something more.


Dusk had happened by during our exchange of words. She called my behavior childish… Maybe… I think I had a right to my feelings. I felt so raw and hurt. I felt so… Alone. I wanted to curl into a ball an wish the world away. I threw words at her. I told her how I felt. Blamed things on those that made me feel as if… as if… I was not a person. I blamed Oni and his treating Daisy and I as snacks. I blamed Aimee an her lack of making sure I knew my job as a healer for the Order. I blamed Felix for thinking less of me. I blamed everyone but my weak self at the time…


As she left I noticed Leera had left a linkpearl near me when he had left. I grabbed it an held it tight. I felt… Defiant. Hurt and defiant. I wanted to prove them wrong. Prove to them that maybe there was a shred of humanity inside the man they thought of as a monster. That even as fragile as I can be in their eyes… I can still be strong in different ways. Continue to reforge the broken parts of myself as I had been. I had been doing so well…


It was after that exchange that I had gone out with my bow. I was still feeling so raw an hurt. I figured a few drinks with Basteaux an forgetting the world was in order. Instead all I found was more pain. This time physical. I was forced to flee from some bandits as I was lacking care as I traveled through the woods. Somewhere along the line I had fallen. Tried to stop my fall with my bow hand. I know the wrist is sprained. And… I do not care. I welcomed the pain. Once I was safe I took the time to wrap my wrist and hand. Not well since I was doing it with only one hand.


I’m still so… Mixed. So hurt an sad. I don’t want to bother Rhisi. I don’t want to bother anyone. I just… I’m not sure what I want. I have avoided the hall since that night. I’ve avoided all contact with the rest of the Order. I’m… not sure… What I am going to do come tomorrow… I should be there for the mission… But… I just do not know… Twelve help me… Maybe I should use that linkpearl Leera left me… Is this a mistake? Should I have not picked it up at all? Maybe I should just let myself believe what they say about him instead… Is it really wrong of me to want to think that maybe Leera might change for the better with the right influences? I won’t know without trying… It could mean my death… It could mean more pain… I should be afraid… But I’m not…

On By destiney1984Leave a comment

Yay pictures. ❤ I actually remembered to take a few. I’m finding myself really liking this hairstyle for Destiney. Especially when on MCH. It just makes her look a bit more kickass. Maybe it’s just me. 😀 Not that she’ll be a MCH IC. Not unless I decide someone is going to teach her how to use a gun instead of a bow. 😛

An yay pictures of my Lancefer an his lady friend, Miu. ( @michisilver) An one with Cio. ^^ Lance is making friends. ❤ Aww my little Lance is growing up.