(Okay I hated writing this part! XD Well an I loved it too. I hated the part towards the end. Gawd… I hope this came out alright. It is sort of my attempt to explain Dest’s problems with dark skinned elezen as well as show how she was healing up emotionally. I was listening to Story by Nishi Rajan the whole time. It really set the mood for this part. More backstory for Destiney.)

I had gone with my uncle and the others on their own journey rather then return to Gridania. My uncle was still not keen on the idea. Both Lady Dove, who I found out her full name was Moon Dove, an Leon thought this would be good for me though. I needed something to keep my mind an hands busy. My uncle though had sent word to both my mother an aunt so neither would worry about my safety. He apparently neglected to tell them though of my near death experience. Which was probably a very wise idea with my mother had already lost so much. It would not be an easy thing for her to accept me traveling with these three but knowing my uncle was watching over my well being was probably at least some relief.

Our first stop was to help deal with some pirates off west of Aleport. Leon kept casting worried glances towards me. I’m unsure why. Since we had left Wineport I was doing at least somewhat better. I think not being so close to the shadows of Occidens was helping at least to some small degree. It was not until we found the pirates an tried to engage them that I would find why he was so worried about me.

Dove was heaving her axe about in an arc keeping most of the attention on herself. Ricard an a small fairy he called Daisy were keeping up with the wounds and shields of aether. Leon fired arrows from his bow with skill that would have made the Quiver eager to have them in their order had he not been a Duskwight.

An I… I was standing there as if frozen… People. We were fighting people. I was trembling as images came to mind of that day at Occidens. Maybe this was why Leon had kept looking at me as we had made our way there. They were pirates. They did not care who they hurt as they did what they did. But the thought did not make it any easier.

One of them had managed to sneak past the others. I could see that triumphant sneer on his face as he ran towards me. Panic took hold of me as he ran at me with that gleaming knife in hand. I could not even raise my bow an shoot at him to keep him back. Instead I screamed an fell backwards. I heard a snarl an then a shadow fell over my fallen form. Leon stood before me using that gleaming white bow of his to block the blow intended for me. I could not see the expression on his face as the two of them separated. The pirate apparently though did not like the look on Leon’s face if I could judge anything by the scared look on his face. Leon was faster then the pirate, arrow notched and ready to fly. I heard the blow more then watched it. I had looked away, wincing at the sound of the arrow piercing flesh.

I had not moved from where I had fallen. The sounds of battle were beginning to dim. I could hear the sounds of feet running, fleeing from a battle they could not win. I finally opened my eyes an looked up, meeting those green eyes I had gotten so used to seeing. Leon’s expression was dark but I could not tell with exactly what emotion he was looking at me with. Or even if whatever mood he was in was towards me or the enemy. He held his hand out towards me, offering me help up from where I sat upon the damp sand. I took that warm hand an tried not to think about what he had just done with those hands.

I was surprised when he pulled me close an wrapped his arms around me for a moment. I felt… Safe. An ashamed. I had insisted upon coming along. I had insisted I would be not be broken. Yet… When it came time to pull that arrow… I had failed. I could not do it.

Eventually he pulled away from me, keeping me at arms length as he check me over for any physical injuries. When he was satisfied that I was unharmed, I felt his hand brush against my cheek. I had not even realized I had started to silently cry. I was not sure if it was from the shame or the fear that I had been close to dying again. Probably the shame of my failure.

“You’re alright. This was simply too much too soon.” He spoke softly before sighing, that dark expression from earlier now gone. Now all that remained was concern an care. “This is not something you’ll get through so easily. Take your time. Just breath right now. Pull yourself together before your Uncle gets over here an decides you’d be better off in Gridania.”

He was right. I did not want to let my uncle pack me off. I wiped my sleeves of my tunic over my face, trying to recover from this ordeal. An maybe it was indeed too much too soon. I was not ready to face other people as my targets. Though I had no one to blame but myself for this.

“Are the both of you alright?” Ricard asked as he an Dove finally joined us.

“Just fine. Nothing I could not handle.” Leon said casually with an air of confidence.

“Good. Then let us be moving. We need to report in on this job an get moving on before it gets too late.”

*~*

Wandering about the world. Seeing many sights along the way. Doing jobs where needed to earn both coin an help those in need. I watched mostly from a safe distance for at least a week. This was becoming how my days went by. Sleeping under the stars some nights rather then finding a bed to rest in.

However it was a few days after that incident with the pirates that I began to have nightmares. What I had done was finally beginning to haunt me. We were out under the stars the first night they hit. All the blood and pain. Those sneering faces. I’m pretty sure I was thrashing in my sleep. Even crying.

“Destiney!” I heard my name called out softly as I bolted to a sitting position, my eyes wide with the fear of that dream as my breath rasped from my lips. I felt his warm arms around me in that starry lit darkness. I felt his hand stroking down the back of my long hair. “It’s okay. It’s just a dream.”

I turned to bury my head against Leon’s chest. Welcoming that warm embrace that made me feel safe. He gently untangled himself from me before pulling me to my feet with him. He walked towards a nearby rock before sitting down with his back against it. I did not even know why he was the only one awake as I had been suffering from that dream. I did not even notice the wan look of his face as he pulled me down to sit beside him.

“I’m sorry… If I woke you…” I apologized as he wrapped one arm around my shoulders an pulled me close, letting me rest my head against him. His hand rubbed my shoulder softly.

“I was already awake. Just go back to sleep. I’ll be right beside you.” He said softly as my eyes started to drift closed again. I felt safe right here. Right beside him. I barely remembered feeling his head coming to rest against mine.

*~*

Eventually we finally reached Limsa. We were stopping for supplies an some rest before heading by airship to Ul’dah. My uncle left us to our own devices but left me with a linkpearl in case I needed to reach him or any of the others if I wandered off by myself. However Leon lingered after the others departed.

“How about I show you what I do for fun?” A grin spread across that lovely tanned face of his. “Of course we should get you some more appropriate clothing for where we’re going.”

I was not sure what Leon intended but I followed him anyways. Soon I wished I had not. He took me to a crafter to have some clothes made for me. It did not take very long as soon I was dressed from head to toe in a very soft sky blue silk. I looked like some sort of exotic dancer. Gold running along the edges and decorating my skin. I could see the approving look in Leon’s eyes. My cheeks were burning with blush as I felt far less clothed then I was used to.

“Where in the world are we going that you seem to insist that I need to dress… Like THIS?” I asked, trying not to be both embarrassed and angry at the same time.

“Just trust me. You’ll have a good time.” Leon said with an amused tone as I followed behind him. I could feel the couple of feathers on the outfit brushing against my skin softly. I felt far under-dressed.

He led me to a bar. I looked around at the woman an men inside as I paused in the doorway. It was not like the Drowning Wench in Limsa. A few ladies were draped over men like the cloth they wore. One of the scantily clad women strutted herself right up to Leon. A grin was plastered on that smug face of his.

“Leon, darling.” She purred as she wrapped her arms around one of his. “You have been gone for so long.”

“Cassandra. You look as radiant as ever.” He drawled as he looked at her with hungry eyes, taking in each curve of her young body. Was this really what he did for fun? Coming to seedy bars an flirty with pretty women?

“I do hope you’ve come to play for us today. I do quite enjoy your skills with that harp. Among other things.” She licked her lips at those last words.

I wanted to be sick. Something inside of me felt so sick just watching the two of them. Another part of me felt furious. Furious that he could be some warm an gentle towards me but seeing him here… Seeing him so openly behaving like this in front of me… Why even bring me here?

“An who is this?” Cassandra asked with a frown as she finally looked my way. There was a sort of distaste in her expression as she looked me over.

“Cassandra this is Destiney. She is traveling with us. I brought her here to teach her how to unwind. Would you be a doll an find her something nice to drink? Something light. I’m sure she is not ready for what I drink.” Leon said gently as he smiled at me before turning to kiss Cassandra’s cheek.

Teach me to unwind? He brought me to a bar to teach me to unwind? I was both furious and annoyed. He made me dress like this just for this? I felt about as well dressed as the girls here flirting around with the men. When we got out of here I intended to give him a piece of my mind. What kind of girl behaved like this? What kind of girl did he think I was? Of all the insufferable things… Prick!

I accepted the sparkling drink Cassandra returned in hand for me. I took a drink of it before making a face. It was not awful but I was not used to the taste. I could tell it was something alcoholic. It was probably not a good idea to be drinking it. I allowed Leon to take my hand an lead me towards what looked like a stage. He set me down in a nearby chair before climbing the steps. I watched him in silence, sipping that wine as he set down an began to ready his harp.

His first tune was light an airy as he warmed up. I could tell at least half of the patrons here were now paying him more attention then the ladies wandering about fetching drinks for them. I was slowly beginning to feel as warm as the music he played as he moved into another tune. Cassandra had eventually brought me another glass of wine. I should have stopped after that first. My head was starting to feel fuzzy an good.

Eventually as he got into a more uplifting beat I got up to dance. I did not care anymore about the eyes on me. I cared about dancing to his music. I felt too good to care as I giggled. My dancing paused as a pair of rough hands found my waist, startling me. I looked up into the weathered face of a rather roguish looking Highlander man. The grin on his face should have been a warning for me. However my mind was not processing things clearly because of the drink. He leaned towards me to try an kiss me. It was then that I was trying to get away from him. I had not even heard the music stop.

A familiar snarl sounded as the Highlander left go of me, hauled away by the back of his shirt collar. I blinked an saw Leon, fury blazing in his eyes as he shoved the man away from me. Cassandra had both hands on her hips before moving to guide the man away from the two of us. I could hear her saying something but the words did not register to me.

“Let’s go.” Leon snarled as he gently grabbed my arm an led me away from the bar.

Once outside I found him pressing me to a wall. His hands were on the wall to either side of my head as he looked down at me. I could still see the anger burning in his eyes. I felt so confused. Between the alcohol burning through my body an his being so close… I felt my cheeks flush with color.

“I said to unwind but I did not mean to let your guard down so much either.” He said as he stood there before me, my eyes on his lips as he spoke. “If I had not been there… Distractions are always nice but you are not ready for that kind of a distraction. Do you even realize what might have happened?”

“No.” I said softly as I leaned up to close that bit of distance between our lips. I was too drunk to care. His lips felt as nice as I had imagined in my mind. So warm an soft. I let out a gasp as he pulled away, pinning me to the wall by my arms now. I could not read the expression on his face. Some mix of pain an desire maybe? I could not decide nor did part of me care.

“Damn it Cassandra…” He cursed the lady’s name as he tried to catch his breath. He finally released his hands from my arms. Instead he grabbed my hand an began to lead me away from this place.

My mind was still on how his lips had felt. The way his hands had held me right then. Those days were I felt his warm arms around me. An his music. Oh the way his music made me feel alive. So warm an good. I had wanted to continue dancing to it all night before it had been interrupted. As if I could forget everything an just listen to it forever. As if I could just follow him forever…

*~*

The next few weeks went by in a blur. At first Leon spoke to me very little. I suspected the whole bar incident was still on his mind. I missed the talk between us during those periods of silence. No a word was breathed to my uncle about the whole situation. Though he did ask once if Leon was alright with how quiet he was being.

Leon had bought me a book the day after he started speaking to me again in that easy manner. I guess in a way it was to apologize. As well as to provide me with a distraction. An each night that nightmares awoke me, he was there at my side. We were once more back to the way things had been before.

I talked with him about my time in Ishgard. About my family. Even about why I had been there at Occidens that day. I told him about Dekkarra. He told me about where he was from, some small part of the Shroud I had never been to. How he had chosen to be a bard. Even how he had met my Uncle and Moon Dove.

Eventually he decided to give me another distraction. He began to teach me how to play his harp. Teaching me the songs he knew over the time we traveled together. I was no where as good as he was but it felt good. Letting the music flow from that gentle instrument. Sometimes adding words to it. Both silly and serious.

We had continued to travel about as a team, the four of us. I thought my days would always be joyous like this. Slowly the pain of my heart was easing. They refrained from jobs that would put us up against other people as much as they could. I knew it was because of me that Leon refused them. I found I could still fight with them when the targets were not other people. People… Still gave me nightmares and made me shake. Though I did not let myself become a victim again like that first time. I was slowly finding my strength to at least defend myself if they came at me. But I could not fire upon them otherwise.

When we were in a city or near a tavern I would watch Leon from a distance. I did not dress like that again. But I watched him flirt an toy with the ladies who came seeking his attention. Yet… There was something in his eyes as I watched. A sort of pain. I watched how he let this distract him from whatever plagued him. He always listened and comforted me but never once spoke of what bothered him. These ladies, the drinks, the behavior was all to hide whatever was hurting him. This is what he chose to use to forget the pain. I do not think he even knew I was watching most days. It had started out partly as curiosity an just a bit of jealously.

Part of me wanted Leon to look at me like he did those women. Why was I not good enough? But then my brain would remind me of Dekkarra. My heart felt like it was torn in two between these men. How could I love them both? Was it really love I was feeling towards Leon or just the fact he was always there to comfort me when I needed it? So I kept my thoughts to myself. Whatever burden he bore was probably already heavy enough without me adding to it with feelings I was unsure of.

*~*

It was a few months later I finally learned just what weight Leon bore… I wished time could have stopped before we reached this moment. Done something to keep things from taking this path… Anything to help him…

He had started coughing as he rode upon his chocobo. I saw the scarlet staining his hand. My eyes widened in concern. His face looked strained as I called for my Uncle. He turned his chocobo around an quickly rode back to join us.

“Leon?” Ricard’s voice was full of concern for his friend as he dismounted. He walked over an helped Leon down from the saddle. I watched my uncle force Leon to sit down with his back against a rock to support him as Dove took care of the chocobos. Even her face was lined with concern. I had too dismounted an knelt nearby wondering if there was anything I could do.

Leon looked awful. His face was so pale despite that tanned skin an his lips flecked with his own blood. I watched him as he shook his head at my uncle. Ricard’s hand found my uncle’s. There was something in the silence between them. Some sort of understanding.

“What? What is wrong?” I asked in near panic at the pain in both of their eyes. “Can you not just heal him?”

“Give us a moment would you, old friend.” Leon said softly to my uncle who just nodded. I watched him walk away to join Dove with the chocobos.

“Leon? I do not understand. What is going on? Tell me what is going on!” I could hear the near panic in my voice. I could feel the tears stinging my eyes but not falling yet. No not yet.

“Dest… Sweet Dest.” I watched as he coughed again, more scarlet staining his lips an hand. “My days are over. I knew they were numbered for a very long time.” His hands took mine, hands I was used to being so warm an strong. Yet always so gentle. Now the tears did finally begin to fall. I did not even care that his hand was bloody as it held mine. “I’ve tried for years to make the most of every day. To live each day as it might be my last… Because it very well could be. I’ve been… ill for a very long time…”

“But you’ve been fine! Maybe Uncle Ricard could heal you! You’ll be fine!” I sobbed softly as he talked like he was dying. I was not ready to lose him. I did not want to let him go.

“No… There is no cure for what plagues me. I’ve done my best to keep it hidden from you… I did not want to… hurt you more then you were already hurting. As I tried so hard to keep my feelings hidden for you as well…” He reached up to touch my cheek with his clean hand. This only made me cry harder. To know he did have feelings for me. To know he just tried to keep them hidden to avoid making this any harder then it already was.

“Why! Don’t give up! I… I can’t lose you… Please…” I did not care that I was surely crying loud enough for the others to hear.

“Shh.” His fingers brushed over my lips. “Everyone has to die someday. But death is not the end. It is merely another step in our paths… I will find you again someday. Even if we have to wait another lifetime… But you need to keep living. Live everyday to the fullest. For me.” I nodded as tears streaked down my soft cheeks. I did not want to let him go. Not now. Not as I found he felt the same way about me as I did of him. “I had wanted very much wanted to let you know that night in Limsa how I felt about you. But I did not wanted to burden your heart with more pain.”

“Leon…” I whispered his name softly an leaned in to kiss his lips softly. His kiss tasting of him an the metallic taste of his blood. One final kiss. A kiss good bye. I pulled back an looked into those pain filled green eyes. I wanted to do anything I could to ease this burden an pain.

“Keep finding a way to repair that part of you that is damaged. Return to that guy you love in Gridania. Marry him an be happy.” I held his hand against my cheek as he spoke to me. “Hell find distractions if you must. Just… Be happy… For me. Find a way to be happy.”

I nodded, unable to find my voice to speak again. He reached into his tunic an pulled out a green stone that was brighter then the green of his eyes. He pressed it into my hands gently. “One last gift. Take it. An my harp. I leave them to you. To remember me by.”

I left go of his hand as he pulled it away to motion for Ricard to join us again. My uncle joined us, taking his friend’s hand. I watched some of the pain ease in Leon’s face as my uncle used his healing aether to relieve it. I wished silently that there was more I could do. I gripped his bloody hand as my uncle held his over. Dove had finally joined us though she kept her distance so that the two of us could remain close.

“Rest easy, my friend.” Ricard said softly to Leon as I sat there in silence.

“Just promise… You won’t ship her away when I’m gone…” Leon said with a soft smile as he gazed towards me. “Keep helping her find her way in this crazy world…”

“I promise.” Ricard looked between the both of us. I think he knew that we had both shared feelings for one another. Feelings that had not been confirmed between the two of us until it was too late.

I watched as Leon closed those beautiful green eyes for the last night. His chest finally no longer rising with air. I cried harder as his life finally left him. I felt my uncle’s arms go around my shoulders as he pulled me close.

*~*

I stood on top of a high rock in the woods of the Shroud. We had brought Leon home for him to rest where he belonged. My arms were wrapped around myself against the chill of the day. It was sure to rain later. I had long since cried myself dry.

I had decided on the last leg of this journey back to the Shroud on what I was going to do with my life. I had told my uncle I wished to study in his arts. I wanted to be able to heal others and ease their pain. I wanted to help people like Leon. Make their lives easier even if their lives would eventually come to an end. I wanted to be there for people like I had been for Leon.

“Coming?” I heard my uncle call to me. I nodded to him as I climbed down from the rock to join him. Dove had left us after we had returned Leon home. It was now just Uncle Ricard and myself. We set out of the next length of our journey. Together. It was strange. In Leon’s death I felt closer now to my uncle then I had before. I smiled at him as I caught up to him.

The first real smile I had felt like giving since Leon’s passing. But I knew he did not want me to be sad forever. For this was not the last time we would see one another. I would always keep my eyes open for him. But… I would also find happiness. Even if I never see him again in this life I knew there would be a chance I could find him in the next. So I would be happy now. For his sake.

(So I had intended to have this done sooner an for it to be more then this. But Des and Leon have turned into some very demanding characters. XP So I decided to break this down into more parts then I had counted on. Mostly because I think dealing with Leon deserves the detail. Cause it explains her behavior towards certain types of elezen. XD So here is the next part. I was listening mostly to Not Broken by Girl on Fire which I think might be Dest’s song. (An I was listening to Heathens because Oni got me hooked with the stuff happening IC on the game lately.) Oh an I wrote this in a first person view cause I could not feel happy writing it any other way. I needed to express Dest’s feelings so much better with first person. So I hope this came out as well as intended. *hides*)

I do not know how long I drifted among the darkness. I had no sense of time nor could I tell if I was even still alive. Was this the way life ended? Drifting in endless darkness? I felt detached from everything.

Until the moment I was able to open my eyes once more. I stared at the ceiling above my head. So I was alive? I tried to move, to sit up. Pain flared through me an forced me to lie still. Yes I was most definitely still alive. How had I survived? Maybe I had not imagined someone calling out to me. Maybe I had not imagined those gentle warm hands an a face I thought I had known.

“Ah so the sleeping princess awakens to the world of the living once more.” A voice as warm an wonderful as honey. I could not move to see where the voice had come from though. The man the voice belonged to however saved me the trouble as he came to stand beside the bed where I was bound. My eyes widened upon taking in the sight of the speaker. I knew that face! It was the face of the Duskwight who had been at the table in the tavern at Wineport. Did that mean it was him an his friends who had rescued me? Or was he just the one in charge of letting someone know if I ever awoke again?

“Who are you?” My voice cracked an my throat felt dry. Just how long had I been asleep here? How long had it been since I nearly died? It could not have been long enough that I still had wounds. I could tell my body bore bandages beneath the borrowed clothes someone had dressed me in. I am sure my own clothes were beyond salvaging.

“I am Leonceault Chassebel. But everyone just calls me Leon the Handsome Bard. Or just Leon.” His grin was just a bit on the cocky side. The impression he was giving me was of someone that thought highly of himself. Though I had to admit he was not bad looking at all. But he was a Duskwight. I could tell from the pale golden tattoo on his face. I recognized it as one sometimes found on a Duskwight. Not that I hate Duskwights. I just erred on the side of caution with them. A trait I had picked up from growing up in Gridania where the prejudice against their people is still rather strong.

Of course his sun-kissed skin and flaxen hair only probably added to his charm. The only thing that marred his handsome face was a scar the the left side of his jaw. His pale green eyes danced with mirth as he looked down at me. How could someone look at a person who had just survived death as if it was amusing? The nerve of him!

“An just what is your name Sleeping Beauty? Unless you wish for me to call you that. Or I could come up with any number of names. Let’s see…” I watched as he crossed his arms an looked up in thought. He was actually going to think of names to call me…

“Destiney.” I croaked out before he could come up with anything worse then Sleeping Beauty or Princess. “Destiney Delvanguard.”

“Ah Destiney. Such a pretty name for such a beautiful face. Though we found you in such a sorry state. Ricard feared you would never waken.” I watched as he turned towards the nightstand beside the bed. I heard something being poured but I had closed my eyes again. I felt so tired. “Exhausted himself something fierce in keeping you from slipping away. I am unsure why. He would not explain well. Just asked me to keep tabs on you.”

“Where are we?” I asked him as he carefully an gently helped me to sit up in bed. I had to bite my lip to keep from crying out at the pain even that little of movement caused. Hot tears stung my eyes but I forced them back, not wishing for Leon to see me cry. I thought I caught a flash of something in his face. Was it concern? Worry? I was not able to see it long enough to know. He held a glass up to my lips to help me drink. I guess he was worried I might not have the strength yet to hold it on my own. He was probably right. I was grateful for the drink of water. The coolness of it helped with the way I felt parched.

“Wineport. We were unable to take you any further with the extent of your injuries.” Now I could see the concern in his eyes. For the way he talked, so bold an flirtatious… He apparently also had a side that could be far kinder then I had first thought. But I am unsure how I felt about anything right now other then pain. “You nearly died there. So much blood… I won’t ask why unless you wish to speak about it. Your story is yours alone. I shall let Ricard know you are awake.”

I almost wanted to ask him to stay. There was something about the him… Something about the way his expression was the moment he had said he would not ask for more then I was willing to tell. Gone was that easy demeanor he had started with when I had awoken. It was like he too bore a heavy weight. One that he would only shared if he wished to. Though his was not the face I had seen as I had drifted in an out of the grasp of death. I was certain I would have remembered if it had been him. Remember that smile that was a mask over something deeper.

*~*

I am unsure how long it was since Leon left my room. I must have managed to drift back off to sleep again. A warm hand on my face brought me back to the waking world again. It was that face again. The one I had seen as I was dying. “Father?” No this was not the same man I had known as a child. I shook off the last vestiges of sleep as took a really good look at this man sitting on the edge of my bed. Seeing his face this close I could see the differences between him and my father. Yet at the same time I could also see the similarities as well.

The familiar tattoo on the left side of my father’s face was absent on this man as was the scar on the right cheek. He bore no scruff of a beard on his chin. His eyes were a chocolate brown where as my father’s had been more of an ocean blue. There was also a difference to the shape of their faces.

His hair was definitely black an cut in a similar style to that of my father’s though. Even had a thin bit of a mustache on his upper lip. The shape of their noses was very close to the same. As was the stern yet deeply caring expression in his eyes. I wanted to reach up an trace those similarities with my hands. Remember the way my father was before he was taken from us.

“No I am not your father. Though I do see a bit of your father in you. Reckless and stubborn to the very last. Those same defiant blue eyes. My name is Ricard Starkweather. Eddard, your father, was my brother. To think I would have found his daughter all these years later. An in such a sorry state.” I could hear the disappointment in his voice. Yet I was shocked to silence. I had no words to answers what he had stated. He was my uncle? My father’s brother?

Father had never mentioned any of his family. We had never met any of them. I had just figured they were all passed away. Then again my mother had not mentioned much of her family either prior to sending me away to Ishgard. It seems… my family has been good at hiding the past. I am sure they had a good reason.

“How is the pain? If it is troubling you too much I can muster up a bit more healing aether now that I have had a chance to recover a bit. Destiney?” He looked at me in concern as I did not answer him right away. I felt so numb and yet… At the same time I wanted to throw my arms around him an cry if I had had the strength to do so.

“It hurts some.” I finally managed to say, my voice cracking with the effort not to give in to the grief that threatened to swallow me whole. Maybe he would just pass it off as the pain causing it. I could not find the words to tell him seeing him hurt more then the wounds themselves. Reminded me of my father who was lost to us forever…

“I see.” That was all he said as he reached up to brush a stray lock of hair away from my face, his expression almost sad. Almost as if he knew it was more then physical pain that I was feeling. I could feel the soothing magic of his healing aether as his hand moved away from my face towards the wounds my body had taken in the fight. “Get some rest. We will talk more another time.”

I could only nod woodenly as his soothing touch disappeared an he got up to leave the room. It was not until he had left that I finally allowed the tears to come. I finally succumbed to the emotional pain clawing at my heart, crying myself into an exhausted dreamless sleep.

*~*

The next few days blurred together. Brief moments of company from either Leon or Ricard who brought with them food and water. I was healing just fine physically. Emotionally I felt so broken. Though a different broken then I had felt the day I had been told of my father’s death. I am not sure if I can come back from this. I am not sure if I even want to. I think they could tell even though I tried so hard to keep myself from letting it show while they were present.

“That is it! Up!” Leon roared as he stormed into my room. I scowled at him from where I sat upon the bed. I had been looking towards the window but not really seeing anything. I was lost in my own thoughts an did not want any sort of company. Let alone his company.

“Go away. I’m tired.” I mumbled as he made his way to the side of my bed. However he chose to ignore my words. His hand was on my arm, fingers callused from using both a bow and harp. There would be no refusal from the way his hand held me tight. Not enough to hurt though. I think he was trying to hold back but the displeasure was plain on his face.

“Gods damn you. You are not sitting here a moment longer. It has been over a week an your wounds are healed just fine. I am not remaining stuck here in Wineport a moment longer while you feel sorry for yourself. This ends now.” he growled as he reached for me. I felt his arms tugging me from the bed but I was still not at full strength because I had done nothing but lay in bed for over a week recovering. I squealed as he literally put me over his shoulder as if I was a sack of food. I beat my hands against his back to little results as he carried me from the room. “Good be angry!”

“Bastard!” I cursed at him as he walked down the hall. I was still in the clothes I had been sleeping in. I was not dressed for going anywhere. I soon found him dumping me rather unceremoniously into a tub of warm water. I sputtered an spit water as I gained my bearings. I scowled at him before I noticed the Roegadyn woman I had seen then with before. Her eyebrows were raised in a mix of curiosity an amusement as she watched the scene before her. I could see the laughter in her lavender eyes. An I cursed the both of them.

“Dove make sure she gets cleaned up an dressed. We’re moving on today. I do not care how much she protests.” Leon said with a rather highly annoyed look on his face as he looked towards me in the water. I growled at him. This only made him grin instead of scowl. “Keep growling like that an I will show you where it will get you.” I blinked in confusion at his words an he just chuckled. Insufferable! That is what he is.

“Better do as he says. Leon… Well Leon is Leon.” The lady he had called Dove said softly with a warm smile. I got a better look at her as Leon finally left the room. The faint red line of a tattoo beneath her right eye. The chin length black hair streaked with a nice shade of scarlet. One scar along the left side of her jaw with another near her eyebrow of her right eye. Whatever she normally wore to fight in, it was not these light weight clothes. Not if I judged her fighting power from the muscles that lined her arms. “I shall wait just outside. Let me know if you need anything. There is a change of clothes upon the chair in the corner.”

I huffed in annoyance as she left the room before slapping my hands against the bath water. Which was a mistake since all I did was drench myself more. I surrendered and gave in to the bath. What choice did I have? Between Leon and Dove I was stuck. Not that the warmth of the water did not feel lovely. It felt absolutely wonderful against the aches of my body. I really had been abed for far too long. I pulled off the soggy clothes that were clinging to my skin, discarding them outside of the tub in a pile on the floor.

I finally emerged from the bathing room a while later. It had taken longer then I thought to clean myself. Feeling the pull of freshly healed muscles that had not seen activity since they had been injured. Somehow one of them had gotten me clothes in my size without asking me. Had they done measurements while I slept? I shuddered at the thought. No they probably had gone based off the size of my ruined clothes. I smoothed down the soft cotton of the blue tunic over the black tights as I looked towards where Dove was leaning against the hall wall.

“Happy?” I asked in a bored tone. I did not want to admit I felt just a bit better after a nice warm bath. I did not want to feel better even though I did.

“Oh I am not who you have to worry about. I am glad to see the clothes fit.” Dove chuckled soft as she motioned for me to follow her. “Though I think it is good you are finally out of bed.”

“Ah so the stubborn princess finally emerges.” I heard his voice before I could see him upon exiting the hallway. Prick. If I had had my bow… I felt like crumpling at the idea suddenly. The sudden reminder of what I had done or tried to do… But there was a warm hand against my shoulder. I looked up into Leon’s grinning mug. But there was something other then mirth in those eyes. A concern. Had he seen that momentary flicker of pain I was sure to have shown? I could not even find it in myself to squeal as he was suddenly scooping me up into his arms an carrying me. I wanted to protest but the fight had gone out of me so suddenly. I think he might have realized it.

Dove held the door as he carried me outside into the bright sun of the afternoon. He deposited me onto a bench in the warmth of the light before sitting down beside me. I just wanted to curl up an wish the world away. Instead I found myself asking one question “What happened to my mask an bow?”

“Your bow will be alright. Ricard is fetching it from the mender. Your mask… It was beyond saving. I’m sorry.” Leon spoke softly as if knowing the words I wanted to hear were not the ones he spoke. I think he knew when I asked that the mask was important. My voice had been hesitant in asking that question. “You are not going to run off doing anything foolish again are you?”

I shook my head as I sat there in silence, closing my eyes against the brightness of the day. I did not want to look up at the blue sky dotted with its fluffy white clouds. I felt his hand on my chin, lifting my face to look at him as he knelt with one knee on the ground before me. His green eyes met my blues. I felt like I could get lost in those eyes. Drown in them. The warmth of his hand against my face as he made me look at him, not allowing me to look away.

“Enough. You’ll drown if you keep doing this to yourself.” His voice was soft yet gentle. “I am not saying to forget what you have done. You need to find a way to move past it.”

I could not help but be reminded of that day with Dekkarra in Ishgard. Leon’s gaze was not as loving as his but there was still a similar warmth in those eyes. A similar concern for my well being. Neither of them wavering in their determination to help me find my inner strength. As if he too knew there was a fighter beneath all that pain an sorrow.

“How…” It was the only word that would come to my lips.

“Well…” I think he was at a loss of words for a moment. “You could do like I do. Find a nice distraction. Something fun. Just because you hurt now does not mean you have to keep hurting forever. You can not live if you just let yourself keep drowning in the past. I could offer you distractions. But… I do not think Ricard would be happy if I did.” A warm chuckle from him. This time laughter did dance in his eyes. I had no idea what exactly he meant by distractions. Or what he had hinted at with his words. I had such limited life experiences to even begin guessing at his meanings. Surely he could not be suggesting some of the things that happened in the stories I’ve read.

“I like to read…” I said to him softly as his hand finally left go of my chin. This earned me a hearty laugh from him. I had not even paid attention to where Dove had wandered off to after we had left the building.

“Well I was thinking more of social interactions but it is a good start.”

“Leon… I hope you are not tormenting her.” It was my uncle’s voice, stern as he looked at Leon with a withering look. My uncle looked towards me, my bow was in his hands.

I felt like I could not breath as I looked at that bow. All I could think of was that killing field. The blood staining my hands. The laughing sneers of those Imperials as they nearly claimed my life. I wrapped my arms around myself, my breath unsteady as I shut my eyes tight as if that would make the images go away. But they remained even with my eyes closed.

Warm hands gently took my hands off my arms where they had been in a almost bruising grip. I had not cared about the pain. I knew I was trembling as I looked towards the lovely tanned skin of Leon’s hands. I could see both him and my uncle standing close to me with worried looks on their faces. Damn it. Now they both knew how I felt. Both knew just why I had been refusing to leave that damn bed.

“Maybe this was a bad idea after all. Maybe I should just return her to Gridania to her mother. It might be best she is somewhere… Peaceful.” It was my uncle who made this suggestion. A part of me agreed with him. While the other part of me recoiled at the idea of being there. Being reminded of my father. Reminded of the Gods’ Quiver. The crushing feeling of failing. Of never being able to touch that bow again… That small voice that I had buried deep down beneath the pain shouted against the ideas. Wanted me to be stronger then I felt.

“No.” His answers was swift and cold as ice. I finally looked at Leon as he stared at my uncle. That chill in his expression said he would take no argument. “You would not be helping her any by doing such a thing. She needs to fight back. Do you really want to break your own niece?”

“How is fighting not breaking her? Did you not see how she reacted just looking at her father’s bow? She needs a way to mend herself. Are you mad, Leon?” Apparently Ricard decided he would argue back anyways.

“I am RIGHT HERE!” I shouted as I removed my hands from Leon’s an stood up. I stormed over to Ricard as he still held my bow. I bit my lower lip as I raised a shaking hand to take that damned bow. Again that inner voice raged against the pain. Raged for me to take that bow again. Whispered to me to make my father proud. My hand hovered over that bow but I could not find it in me to take it. I had killed people…

I nearly stepped back an surrendered again. But there was a warm hand against my back. I looked up in surprise to see Leon behind me. His face was set in determination as he looked towards my uncle. Then his other hand found mine that was hovering over that bow. He did not push not pull my hand. Just let his rest over mine. As if to comfort me. To let me know whatever I chose I was not making this choice alone.

“You are not a broken doll. Make your choice, princess. Will you fight to live? Or will you go to drown?” Leon said as he looked down at me. I could not tell what that expression was in his eyes. Those green eyes seemed to swim with more then one emotion. Again I felt like there was so much he was trying to say with just looking at me. Like he fought against some inner pain of his own an understood at least a fraction of what I was suffering. “You can let the pain devour you from the inside or you can find a way to fight an make the most of every day the gods have given you. Make your choice.”

I took a deep breath as I let his words sink in. I could choose. I could choose to live with that pain an keep pushing forward. Or I could choose to let that sorrow an pity for my own self drown me. Dekkarra’s words in Ishgard also rang in my head. I was a fighter. I could let this temper me into something stronger. Would it be easy? Of course not. I would have to find a way to deal with my inner demons. To find a way to cope with the things I had done an chosen.

I looked into his eyes as I released that breath. An wrapped my hand around that bow that once belonged to my father. I was my father’s daughter. I would not go back to Gridania to drown. I would not go down without a fight. I would fight. For the sake of those that had faith in me.

I am pretty sure Leon smiled at me. My uncle merely nodded as he allowed me to take that bow back once more.

“I am not a princess.” I said calmly to Leon as I managed a slight smile at him. His laughter rang through the air as he finally took his hand off of mine.

“No you are most definitely no damsel. Ricard my friend, your niece is definitely quite entertaining.”

Now it was my turn to laugh. It… felt good. Almost normal. How long had it been since I had been able to feel like this? Maybe it was a good start to finding my way again. If the Twelve had indeed given me this second chance then I could not throw it in their faces an become like a ghost again, barely living.

I would always bear those memories an maybe even the pain of what I had done. Maybe they never would lessen but I would never know unless I tried. I could be like one of those people in the stories I used to read. The scars on my soul remaining yet finding a purpose in life once more. Yes… I think I could at least make the attempt.

Okay! Part 2 of three! 😀
An I hope it does not come off as rushed. >.>; Cause I was trying
to finish this before I had to go spend 3hrs driving. I only managed to
get it posted on the Order’s forums before I had to leave on Friday. I
was
listening to We Carry On by The Phantoms (feat. Amy Stroup), My Demons
by Starset, and Nightmare by Veracity while I was writing this. XD Part 3
I plan to begin writing here asap. Most likely tomorrow. 🙂 Unless I
find I need to make adjustments to this one. XD -hides under the table
again.- Please be gentle! XD

The day had finally come. She was old enough to make choices of her own.
Not that she did not love her aunt an everything the woman had done for
her over the last five years. But now it was finally the day she was
allowed to make her own path.

Destiney stood staring up at the gates of the Steps of Faith. Once she
passed this point she had no intentions of returning. Not any time soon
anyways. If ever. It was almost like she was walking in her mother’s
shoes. Almost but not quite. Her mother had left to make a place for
herself in the world. Destiney was leaving to become an adventurer with a
vengeance to seek.

“Farewell, Ishgard. May Halone watch over your people.” Destiney said
she took the first step on her new path. Her bow was against her back
with its quiver of arrows. She had not even said goodbye to her aunt an
uncle. Merely left them a note an hoping they would understand. She
could not remain in this city another day.

So many days spent between books an training. She had of course spent
time researching what little she could find about the Garleans. Which
was painfully small. Ishgard was too sealed off from the world. So
between novels she had instead learned some of Ishgard’s history an that
of the lands around it. She had even managed to find a few books on
magic. Not that she would even attempt them without someone to actually
demonstrate the basics to her. Not that it mattered since she was still
very much her father’s daughter. A bow chosen over spells an tomes.

Outside the gates of Ishgard, Destiney stopped an took a deep breath of
the icy air as she looked up towards the clouded skies. Another storm
was due in a day or so. There was no time to linger here as she set off
towards Camp Dragonhead. She planned to rent a chocobo from a porter
once she reached the camp. From there… She would decide once she was
out of the snowy Coerthas landscape. It was almost hard to believe this
land used to at one time be green. It seemed an entire lifetime ago when
she first passed this way five years ago…

Five years of waiting an training. Five years to nurse her wounds an
recover. But the flames still burned in heart to seek repayment for the
life that was stolen. Five years of barely seeing or speaking with the
man who kept her fighting when she had lost so much hope.

*~*

Destiney stopped the chocobo she was riding as she entered the Shroud.
It felt like forever an a day since she had last set foot in these
woods. They were still so green an vibrant despite the destruction the
primal had wrought. Nothing like the never ending winter that had
settled over Ishgard because of it.

“Home.” she whispers as she lingers a few moments longer before allowing
the bird to continue onward towards Gridania. Her heart felt alive at
being within the woods she had grown up in. Yet at the same time they
brought sorrow as well. Knowing her father no longer walked these woods
as a Gods’ Quiver. Or that her brother was still missing despite the
passing of time.

*~*

Destiney looked around Gridania as she walked through the gates. So much
was still the same. Yet at the same time there were things she knew
were not the same as five years ago. Life had not stopped despite all
the horrors that had happened. She watched a laughing couple walk past,
envying the happiness they had.

“Destiney? Is it truly you?”

Destiney turned around to see Dekkarra walking through the gates. He was
clad in plain robes of a healer with a staff against his back. She ran
into his open arms an hugged him tight, burying her face against his
chest. She was so relieved to see him. He had been just one of the two
reasons she had decided to make this her first stop. She needed to see
him again. At least one last time. There was no telling when she would
see him again if at all. Not that she planned to tell him.

“You… I did not know you were returning. You look well.” Dekkarra said
as he moved back to hold her at arm’s length an look her over with the
eyes of a healer. As if looking for injuries or signs of illness.

“I had to see you. An I needed to retrieve something from the house. I
decided to become an adventurer.” she explained to him with a warm
smile, her eyes closed to hide the sorrow behind the mask.

“An adventurer? For real? Are you sure it is wise?” Dekkarra asked, his face showing his concern for her.

“Yes I am sure. I will not remain in hiding forever. You were the one
who said I was going to be something great. Now I need to prove that. I
need to learn to walk on my own with no one holding my hands.” she says
as she takes his hands within hers. Her eyes stare down at their joined
hands. Hers rough from the use of her bow an bitter colds of Ishgard
while his were much softer. The gentle hands of a healer. “I love you,
Dekkarra. But I need to do this. I need to find myself. An I can not do
it hiding behind the walls of a city or in the forests of the Shroud.”

“Then allow me to come with you. Allow me to be at your side.” Dekkarra pleaded with her gently as he gripped her hands.

“I need to do this. You need to stay here an keep studying. I’ll be back
before you know it. We’ve waited five years. A little while longer is
not much to ask.” she explained as she left go of his hands reluctantly,
forcing a smile to her face. Hiding the fear an pain. Last thing he
needed was to know she might not return. That she was making promises
that might never come to pass.

“Alright. I am holding you to that. Go ahead an see your mother. She is
probably going to be delighted to see you have returned home.” he said
with a grin as he leaned down to brush a kiss upon her lips before
heading off for the Conjurer’s Guild.

*~*

Destiney hesitated at the door to the home she remembered as a child.
There were so many memories. Even just standing here as she placed a
hand to rest against the door. Both good an bad, though the good
outweighed the bad. She had to take a deep breath to keep herself from
crying. Once she was composed again she pushed upon the door an stepped
inside.

“Mother?” Destiney called out into the house. There was no answering
voice. No sound of anyone home. She looked towards the table where her
mother used to always leave her botany tools. Her hatchet an scythe were
not in their usual spots. So her mother was out harvesting somewhere in
the Shroud. Sadly that meant it could possibly be hours before she
would come home again.

The house seemed to be just as she remembered it. Lovingly cared for.
Not a thing out of place. She walked down the hall towards her bedroom
an stood in the doorway. Even her room was still the same. Not even any
dust to show the five years she had not lived here. Her mother had
obviously continued to keep the room as she had left it, waiting for the
day her daughter would return. She turned away an continued down the
hall, pausing briefly at her brother’s door. However she could bring
herself to open the door. There was only so much her heart could deal
with right this moment. If she could manage to come back alive then she
would have time to deal with her missing brother after. She continued
down to the end of the hall, pausing before that final door. Her hand
shook as she raised it to open that door. Slowly it creaked open as her
hand pushed. Inside was just as she remembered it. An the item she was
here for was still in its familiar place.

She could still remember watching her father sit there at the edge of
the bed as he restrung the bow with new string. He had had this one
specially made for when he was off duty. It was unlike any of the ones
the Gods’ Quiver used traditionally. Back then it had been a bit too big
for her to use. But she had still admired the shade of blue that the
crafter had painted it with. The gold edges still shinned bright despite
five years of sitting without use. Her hand grazed over the wood gently
afraid it might break at a simple touch after so long. Gently she
picked it up an checked it over for any signs of damage.

He had probably taken his service bow into the fight. It was possible
her mother continued to care for his crafted bow as a reminder of the
man they had all lost. In it’s place she put down the bow she had taken
with her into Ishgard. On the night stand beside the bed a note to
replace her father’s old Gods’ Quiver half-mask. It was was cracked but
surprisingly whole as she placed it upon her own face. She looked around
the room, feeling just a bit like she was looking at things as if
through her father’s eyes. She took a sharp breath an turned to leave
before she broke down.

Secretly she had been hoping her mother was not home. It would only add
to the pain. Only make it that much harder to do what she felt she
needed to do. She paused in the doorway, giving the room one last look
before heading for the front of the house.

“Goodbye.” she whispered as she walked out of the house for what she thought might be the last time.

*~*

It had taken her a couple of days to get this far as she looked up at
the gates of Wineport . As well as getting lost a few times trying to
find the place. If she had finally found the right location then she was
near one of the few locations. There had to be a Garlean outpost near
here. At least that is what the rumors had claimed as she drifted about
on her way to Wineport.

Castrum Occidens. That was the name of the Garlean outpost she had heard
of out this way. She fully intended to go knocking on their doors. Well
not quite literally. But the idea was close enough to what she intended
to do.

She passed through the gates to Wineport an headed for the small tavern
that was inside of the camp. Her feet paused as she stared up at the
shining blue crystal at the center of the camp. Her thoughts were of how
easy it would have been to just teleport using the aetherytes. But she
had never been here before. After a few moments of taking in the
soothing blue twinkle of the crystal she continued finally into the
tavern.

The place was not exactly busy but it still had a few patrons this early
in the day. In one corner of the room sat a trio of adventurers talking
about something between themselves. She found her eyes coming to rest
upon the male Hyuran Midlander of the group, ignoring the male Elezen
Duskwight and female Roegadyn Hellsguard. The Midlander looked to be
about her father’s age possibly a bit older. But that was not what
stopped her. Despite his darker skin complexion an black hair… He
looked a bit like her father. Not quite twins but the resemblance was
very close. It felt almost like seeing a ghost.

Destiney quickly shook off the feeling. Cursing her heart for trying to
make her think like that. She quickly found a table by herself an
ordered something to eat as she quietly sat listening to the
conversations around the room from other patrons. Trying to catch
anything about Castrum Occidens. Or any Garlean activity in general.

*~*

Destiney adjusted her father’s half-mask on her face as she looked into
the distance at the wall of metal that loomed just within sight. Castrum
Occidens… The conversations at the tavern had not been particularly
helpful. Apparently the Garleans here had been content to bid their time
an wait to make any real moves against the people of the area. Just
what went on beyond those walls though… It was a mystery. No one who
had tried to find out had ever come back.

Now the question was would she become another of those numbers? She
swallowed hard as she drew her bow from her back where it had been
resting. This was where fate would decide if she lived or died. She
whispered a quick prayer to the Twelve as she tried to mentally prepare
herself for this suicidal idea. She was not a one woman army. She was a
young woman, afraid yet determined. She could not rest easy without at
least trying to return the favor against these monsters for the world
they had ruined. Her world. Casting her away into Ishgard as Dalamund
fell from the sky. Riping away her father from their once happy family.

Her hand gripped the bow tightly as she took her first step towards what
could very well be her doom. An a part of her did not care. The part of
her heart that should have cared was as hard as the ice of Ishgard.

*~*

The first man in Imperial colors fell without a sound. An arrow
protruded from his throat. A clean kill. Destiney pulled another arrow
from her quiver as she stalked closer towards the gates. All she had to
do was take out the guards outside. One corner of her mouth quirked up
in a grin as she brought up her bow for the next kill.

“Intruder!”

She heard the words just as she let the arrow sing through the air.
However the guard was more alert then the first an the arrow had only
grazed off his arm. She cursed under her breath as she went for the next
arrow in her hand. The one she had grazed though was already rushing
towards her.

“If I’m falling here… I’m taking everyone of you bastards with me that
I can.” Destiney mumbled as she let the next arrow fly. The second
Imperial solider fell as she rushed forward. The guards were already
alerted to her presence so there was no point to caution anymore.

Four more soldiers were rushing to meet her. The odds looked badly
against her. The lancer of their team was the first to be within
striking distance. Destiney dropped to a roll underneath the swing of
his spear. The lancer howled in pain as an arrow struck him in the leg
as Destiney knelt for a moment after her roll long enough to return
fire.

However that momentary pause had allowed the gladiator of the team to
close in. His shield smacked hard into her bow arm as he used an stun
her. The blow unbalanced her an she found herself sprawled upon the
ground as the three remaining closed in around her.

“Stupid Eorzean. What did you think you could possibly do alone.”

Destiney snarled as she grabbed her bow once more an aimed another arrow
from where she was half laying upon the ground. She tried to hurt the
gladiator for his earlier blow to her but the arrow was neatly deflected
by the marauder of their team. The pugilist decided to close the final
distance. Destiney rolled to the side, barely dodging the blow that
would have crashed into her head if she had not moved. Though in her
scramble to move she had released her hold on her bow. Now weaponless an
still facing three uninjured Imperials.

Her hands shook as she reached from another arrow from her dwindling
quiver as she scrambled to her feet. Her eyes darted between the three
of them, not the least bit liking her odds. With a yell she charged
forth, obviously an unexpected move by an unarmed opponent for these
men. But she was not truly unarmed. In her hand she gripped an arrow
like a dagger as she dove towards the pugilist an drove the arrow into
his chest. Together they tumbled to the ground in a heap.

So warm were her hands. Sticky with blood of the man she had just
stabbed with an arrow. She looked back towards the other two who at
first had startled looks on their faces before their expressions grew
angry an murderous.

“You will regret ever coming here alone.”

Destiney scrambled to move as the gladiator swung his sword towards her
face. Her feet got tangled upon the pugilist’s corpse in the process,
tripping her up though also allowing her to fall away from the dangerous
edge of that blade. It was when she went to stand again that she felt
sharp burning pain in her leg as she was knocked back into the wall.
Movement sent pain ripping through her arm as she looked to her left.
She was pinned against the wall with a spear in the flesh of her
shoulder. Behind his two companions stood the lancer she had wounded
earlier, his spear gone from his hands as he limped up to his allies.
Hot angry tears stung her eyes behind the mask. A scream ripped from her
throat as she pulled at the spear with her right hand.

Blackness danced at the edges of her vision as she watched them
approaching her, the spear refusing to budge with just her one hand
trying pull against it. The pain was added upon. Her breath was knocked
from her lungs as she felt the sword of the gladiator rip through the
flesh of her body. She felt detached as the blackness threatened to
claim her. Her eyes looking down at the sword that was piercing through
her chest. A small trickle of blood ran down her chin as she coughed.
The cold fingers of death were trying to pull her down into the abyss.
Her gaze once more drifted up to the triumphant looking bastards.

Something moved in the distanced. Something rapidly approaching from
behind these Imperial bastards. But her vision was blurring too badly
now to make out what it might be. She took one final ragged breath
before closing her eyes an allowing the blackness to wash away the pain.

*~*

“Hold on. Do not give up on life so soon, lass.”

She could barely recall the sounds of battle as she had lay dying, her
life’s blood bleeding out around her. She thought as she drifted in an
out of that darkness that she had heard words of concern. Thought she
had felt a warm hand touching her. At one point she forced her eyes open
long enough to catch a glimpse of a man before her with a worried look
upon his face.

“Father…” She rasped before coughing hard several times. Once more the
darkness pulled her back down. But she could have sworn that it had
been her father’s concerned face looking at her in worry.

(I couldn’t think of a better title for the first part of what might be
three parts. I wanted to better explain Dest’s past. Cause RP just does
not do justice on how she gets from point a to point b. An the title was
the name of the song I was listening to on repeat the entire time I
wrote this. (If I Break by Red for anyone that would like to know.) But
bare in mind that this is only one of possibly three parts so yes it is
not quite complete though this part is. So this is basically Point A. An
I have not written anything like this… Since about 2005.

I already shared this with the FC on the FC website but I decided to share this here for a few others to have a chance to read it. So this is not a journal entry but a sort of short story. An not the whole story either. This is set right before the Calamity an through the five years till when ARR begins. The second part will pick up at ARR when its finished. I need to do some lore research first.)

Destiney hated it. Hated it all as she rode in the chocobo led wagon
away from home in the quiet forests of the Shroud an through the
Highlands of Coerthas. She glared up in anger at the falling moon.
Dalamund people had called it.

Her brother was still missing yet her parents were sending her away. Her
hands clenched in her lap where they rested. They had said they wanted
her to go remain with her Aunt and Uncle in Ishgard until things calmed
back down. A nation plagued by dragons and heretics… She felt like
they were sending her away from one danger into another different
danger. Either way she was unsafe. Either way it was not helping to find
her missing sibling. But for her parents Ishgard was a nation outside
of the war against the Garleans.

If it had not been the look in her mother’s eyes… It was only that
look that had silenced her an kept her from running out on her own with
just her bow in hand. The pain in those eyes. Not knowing where one of
your own children was while danger pressed ever closer. Seeing that
staff in her mother’s gentle hands… She did not have the heart to
continue her argument with her father about remaining. Or even make the
suggestion that she was old enough to fight if she was old enough to
start training for the Gods’ Quiver. She was nearly sixteen now.

She was so angry an hurting. How could Tak just leave her behind without
a word? How could her parents just send her away? She scrubbed the back
of her one hand across her face, unsure of when she had started to
silently cry.

“We’re almost to the Gates, Miss.”

Destiney didn’t respond to the driver. However she did look up an away
towards the towering city in the near distance. The Holy See of Ishgard
rose up in the air, looking as if it was trying to touch the clouds
above. She had no idea how her parents had gotten her entrance into a
city that had locked itself away from the rest of Eorzea. Or if even she
would like the family she was to be staying with. Dekkarra had sworn he
would stay in touch an maybe find a way to come see her. It was one
small bright light in the darkness that was becoming her life.

Destiney gathered her belonging from the wagon upon arrival at the
gates. Not even a thank you to the driver. She handed the folded an wax
sealed letter to a guard at the gates.

“What do we have here?” He asked as he took a look at the wax seal before opening the letter. “Aurifore huh? Wait here.”

She watched in her silent scowling expression as the guard stepped
inside the gate to check on whatever the letter had pertained. She had
never heard of the Aurifore name before but then again she did not even
know any of her relatives from her mother’s side of the family.

“You can enter. Do not let me catch you causing problems.” the guard warned as he came back an allowed Destiney to enter.

“Whatever.” Destiney grumbled as she picked her bag back up an walked
through the gate with a guard following close behind her. The guard had
left her once she had reached the city itself. The was light of day was
fading fast an she had no clue where she was going. She could feel the
stares some of the passerbys were giving her in her glade tunic an
pants. She looked completely out of place among the people of Ishgard.
She felt like they were probably considering her to be some foreign
bastard who found a way to slip through the cracks.

“Destiney?” asked a gruff male voice.

“Who wants to know?” Destiney said with irritation as she looked an
found an raven haired armored man, probably only a few years older then
her father. The scowl on his face the his whole stance gave the
impression of someone who had no tolerance for children. Let alone
teenagers. He looked every inch like he did not want to be the one here
to claim her.

“You will speak with more respect to your elders. Especially those who
you will be staying with. Honestly. I have no idea why she agreed to
take a half-breed bastard in anyways.” he said with disgust in his
voice.

Destiney bristled at his calling her some half-breed bastard. She
clenched her fists an glared at the man in his Ishgardian knight
chainmail. It was so very hard to bite her tongue an not reach for the
bow she had refused to leave behind at home. If only she could silence
his biting tone.

“Nothing to say? Good. Keep up or stay in the Brume with the rest of the
scum.” he said as he turned an began to walk without a care of whether
she followed or not.

She followed him in tense silence, resisting the urge to put an arrow in
his back. Being put in jail her first night here was probably the worst
possible decision she could make. There was no way she could tell how
the trials worked or even the justice system at all in Ishgard. For all
she knew they could be entirely different then Gridania. Not that
Gridania would take shooting someone with an arrow lightly when it was
just in anger. Especially since it would be over an insult. Her father
would have scolded her an told her to ignore such jabs. To be the bigger
person an let the insults slide off like rain over metal.

The house they arrived at was not lush or ornate. It was a simple house
but obviously cared for. The man watched her with wary eyes as he opened
the door an stood there waiting for her to enter. Destiney just
returned his glare for a few moments of silence.

“Lance is that you?” called a mellow woman’s voice from within.

“Yes. I brought the child you mentioned was arriving.” the man replied as he looked towards the inside of the house.

“Destiney? She made it finally?” the woman speaking appeared. She had
the same orchard brown hair an hazel eyes her mother had. There was even
a resemblance in her face to that of her mother. She rushed over an
wrapped her arms around Destiney. “Oh my child. It is good to see you
have arrived safely.” She removed her arms from a now tense Destiney.
This woman was studying her face an the confusion in her gaze. “Well
now… I don’t supposed that sister of mine has said much on me has she.
No I doubt she has. Come inside.”

Destiney followed her aunt inside the house in silence. The interior was
warm an inviting. A fire was burning merrily in the hearth. Beside it
sat a pair of chairs and a small table meant to hold snacks for those
sitting near the flames.

“I have to get back to work now, Kat. I will be home late tonight.”

“May Halone watch over you, love.” her aunt replied to the knight who
had led her here, obvious to her by now he was her uncle by the exchange
between the pair.

Destiney chose to sit down in one of the cushioned chairs by the fire,
watching her aunt with wary eyes. Her aunt stepped out of the room for a
moment with a brief mention of getting snacks. She returned shortly
with a tray containing tea for two an some small sandwhichs. Destiney
felt her stomach rumble as she had not eaten much on the long journey
from Gridania to Ishgard.

“Please. Eat. I am your mother’s sister Katrienne. You are welcome to
call me Aunt Katy.” Her aunt sits down in the chair opposite of her,
watching her all the while with a warm smile on her face. “How I wish
Halone would have blessed us with a child as beautiful as my sister’s.
You look so much like your mother. But I can also see some of your
father in you. Those blue eyes… Not an Aurifore trait for sure.”

“Aunt Katy…” Destiney tries the unfamiliar words over her tongue. “Who are the Aurifore?”

“Well now. That would be the name of the family your mother an I were
born into. A name your mother gave up the day she departed from Ishgard.
Father was none too pleased an he disowned her. I think they were both
entirely too bull headed about the whole ordeal.” Aunt Katy says as she
picks up one of the tea cups from the tray. “It is not a name of one of
the four houses here in Ishgard but your grandfather an his father
before him has made quite a name for the family.”

“I want to go home.”

“Home? I’m afraid that is not possible at this time, dear.” Aunt Katy
replies with a frown. “Your mother asked me to care for you until it is
safe enough to send you home once more. Until all this nasty business
with the Garleans has been cleared up… I am afraid this is your home
until then.”

The rest of the evening passed in silence. A few times her aunt tried to
strike up conversation again with her. Only for silence to once more
claim the air between them. Destiney stared at the dancing flames of the
fireplace, only vaguely recalling eating an drinking what had been
offered. Her mind was still on what she had left behind.

Why was she being carted away towards what her parents thought as safety
while others were forced to endure. Why was she so special… If only
she could have remained to fight. Or at least allowed to remain to
search for her missing brother.

Her sleep was restless as she tossed an turned that first night in a
strange place an a bed she did not know. So far away from everything she
had ever known.

*~*

Destiney was going through the motions of living here in Ishgard. Her
aunt had provided her with new clothes, ones more befitting a member of
Ishgard society. Her aunt had even gone as far as to bring her books to
read. There was however no where she could go to pratice with her bow.
Her uncle had been less then pleased with the idea of her using a bow an
waved her off as if she was nothing more then an insect. Still people
gave her strange stares, heard the whispered rumors. Not like she wanted
to make friends anyways. All she had to do was wait for her parents to
send for her. She did not need these people or this life. Surely her
parents would send for her soon.

Word did soon arrive. Along with the whispers of what happened at
Cherteneau Flatts. The rage of an elder primal. The weather had been
getting worse since the days of the battle, delaying the messages to
Ishgard.

Destiney rushed home towards her aunt an uncle’s house. Surely there was
now word that her parents wanted her home. She burst through the door
an skidded to a halt. Her aunt was holding a letter in her hands, a
sorrowful expression upon her face. Her uncle knelt beside where she sat
in a chair, a comforting hand on his wife’s shoulder.

“What does the letter say?” Destiney asked, her voice so low, her heart
clenching in fear. That expression on her aunt’s face twisted a dagger
in her chest. Something was wrong. So very wrong.

“Destiney… Darling…” her aunt said softly as she got up from the
chair to walk over an wrap her arms around her neice. “You father…”

Destiney broke away from her aunt’s arms. Her face was a mix of
disbelief an horror. Her father? Curse the Twelve! If anything had
happened to her family… She did not want to hear the next words her
aunt spoke. Her knees gave out on her as she crashed to the floor. She
felt like silence was swallowing her world. Eventually that silence gave
birth to sound. It was the keening that broke the silence. Her world
was breaking apart beneath her. She screamed an raged as her aunt tried
to console her broke heart until both her voice an body could take no
more. In silence she cried herself to sleep within her aunt’s embrace.

*~*

The days became a blur. Rarely did she even attempt to get out of bed.
Her eyes merely gazed out the window at the snowflakes that had begun to
fall upon Ishgard. Her father was gone from this world. An she was not
even able to return home for the funeral. Still trapped in this
miserable city, her world having come undone. She had no desire to climb
out of bed. Only did her aunt or uncle make her get out of bed on
occasion to at least bath an eat. Most times her aunt brought in a tray
of food an asked quietly that she at least make an attempt to eat
something.

However things changed. Slowly an painfully. But there was at least one light within the darkness that had become her heart.

Somehow her aunt or uncle had managed to pull some strings. Dekkarrra
crouched beside her bed as she rolled over to look at who had come in
this time. At first she thought he was a mere illusion conjured up by
her hopeless heart to give her more reason to despair. But his hand was
warm over her own. It felt so real but she was so afraid to move or say
anything. Afraid it would all shatter away as if a dream. The smile on
his face was gentle but his eyes were filled with sorrow. She probably
looked horrible to him. Spending all her days in bed an barely eating.

“Destiney…” he said her name softly but full of love an concern.

“Dekkarra…” her voice cracked, so used to sitting in the silence with only her dark thoughts to keep her company.

“You’ve… Your aunt…” he sighed as he tried to find the words he was
searching for as he held her hand within his. “She said you’ve been
locking yourself away. She’s worried about you. I’m worried about you.”

“Why should I care? My life…” tears welled up in her eyes as she
thought of how much upheaval she had suffered in such a short time.

“Your life is not over yet. What would your father think if he saw you
like this?” he asked softly as one of his hands caressed her cheek.
“You’re letting yourself become a ghost.”

His words stung her heart. She knew them to be true. If her father had
seen her wasting away like this over sorrow… He would have punished
her with extra training until her fingers bled from pulling the
bowstring so much. But there was still so much despair in her heart an
soul she could barely bring herself to move. Her fingers gripped the
hand holding hers. How was she supposed to find her way back from the
darkness?

“I…”

“The Destiney I know an love is stronger then this. I did not fall for a
princess, I fell for someone with fire in her veins an a spirit full of
life. Someone who is strong enough to overcome this an allow it to
temper her into something stronger. We are not adults yet… But I know
you are going to be something great when you manage to pull yourself
back to your feet again. Because that is the girl I fell in love with.
She is every inch a fighter like her parents.”

Tears trailed down her cheeks in silent paths. His hand gently wiped
them away, his eyes steady an full of love. She would never understand
what he saw in her. A girl who wanted to fight an protect at one time
before her world had fallen apart. Yet… He was still like a missing
piece of her soul. Just being near him again… It was a shard of light
within the darkness. Something for her to grasp an hold onto with all
her might.

“I can not stay for long. I begin my training to become a healer soon.
But… I will write to you an return when I am able. Please, Destiney.
Do not give up. Come back stronger from this. I need you.” he said
softly as he leaned over her to kiss her forehead softly.

She could barely find the words to say as she watched him turn to leave.
She wanted to reach out for him. To beg him to stay. Somewhere deep
inside though the embers of herself were kindled by his presence. By his
unwavering love for her.

*~*

Destiney slowly began to make her way back into life. So long spent abed
had left her weak. Her father would have endlessly lectured her about
letting herself go so badly. Overtime she found a quiet place down
around the Brume to build her strength back to where it once was. In
silence with nothing but her thoughts. The look upon her face was enough
to deter most into leaving her along. That an possibly ending up with
an arrow to the gut. When she wasn’t pulling the strings of her bow, she
was running. Feeling the sting in both her lungs an her skin from the
cold.

Her thoughts turned to the Garleans. Everything was their fault. Her
father… Her happy life… She would find that lost fire an blaze it
bright. She would get her revenge on the people who had murdered her
father. Those that had snuffed out a bright star in her life. They would
pay.

Her books an such that her aunt continued to provide were a distraction.
One that was welcome after a day outside strengthening her body again
in the now frigid air. She found she loved some of the stories. They
were an escape from the world. At least when they were novels. She found
she preferred the stories containing heroes or romance.

This was how her days in Ishgard would be spent. At least until the day
she would depart once more for the world outside those sealed gates.