Tara Loche – Spirit of the Warlock

( @sorenspath @cheetah-smith-ffxiv @hedgearcher )

Destiney laid on the bed in Soren’s house. Staring up at the ceiling. Mind wandering down many different paths. Everything had happened to quickly she had had barely any time to digest the things that had occurred.

Now that she was safe… It was almost funny she felt more safe here around Soren then anywhere else. Nate had made her feel safe but… Something about the way Nate made her feel and the way Soren made her feel was different. Why was it with Soren she felt she could be entirely vulnerable but still completely safe? Why was it with Nate she felt the need to hide her feelings?

Destiney rolled over to her side and touched her fingers to her lips. Never before had she even tried to kiss Nate. He had seemed uncomfortable enough with simple hugs. Even if she had only kissed Soren on the cheek. It was still not something she had ever considered doing with Nate. No matter how many times he protected her. Her fingers moved to the hair that Soren had brushed from her face. His touch so gentle. She felt her cheeks warm at the thought of the private moment between them last night.

He had come to rescue her. Nate had not. A part of her couldn’t help but be hurt at that simple thing. That despite leaving a goodbye only Soren between the two of them had come to save her with the others.

Soren… He was always protecting her. Had taken an arrow for her. Seemed as if he would tear down every foe that tried to harm her. She pulled the plush cactuar on the bed closer to hold it tight. Even coated in blood last night, all she seen was Soren. The blood hadn’t even come to mind then. How many people had fallen to his blades in the path of destruction to reach her? Did it even matter? No… That was the odd part. It should have mattered. Yet… All she could feel was relief.

Soren and her friends had come for her. That was all that mattered. Though it stung that Yuti was the only one from the people she had called family to want to save her. Sweet caring Yuti. Not Nate.

Maybe this was why it felt so much like her path from the Order was diverting. As much as she had loved the people there… It was time she moved on again. They had helped her heal. Yet it was not where she was meant to remain. Her path merely crossed theirs for a time.

Yet when the chips were down she still had family. Just not the one she had expected. Those that came to her aid when things looked grim. They were her family. They were her fated connections.

Her soul sister Chee. Sweet yet determined Yuti. Dangerous yet funny Kagato.
Kind and protective Soren.

Even Tara who the last time they had seen each other had been at odds.

As Chee had said, Dest was and would always be an Outsider. Not in the way one might consider the word. It was their close circle of friends. They weren’t always together but they always had each others backs.

Tara had been the most shocking of her saviors. Even Nix coming along with Chee had not been as much of a surprise as Tara was. The last time she had seen Tara had been at Costa. They had argued. Dest had merely been trying to be a concerned friend. Tara had mistaken that concern for something else. Yet no matter how much Dest tried to make her understand or apologize… It hadn’t been enough. Yet Tara was there last night. Had joined in the effort to rescue her. Had Tara done it for Lance? Or was there hope they could bridge the gap between them? It was not something she could answer on her own.

Kagato… She knew a part of him harbored a darkness. That he changed when that eye patch was gone. It should have scared her. Should have made her want to run the other way. To see the savage fury with which he dealt with the people holding her captive… Yet all she wanted was to find him and check on his well being. She wasn’t afraid. If she feared him when she had already bared her throat to another dangerous predator… No. She wouldn’t fear him for the darkness he carried. All she wanted still was to be his friend. Even the dark parts of him. They were part of who he was. Part that needed accepted with the good.

Was that why she could look at Soren despite the blood her wore last night? Because she had begun to truly accept all the parts of a person? The good and the bad. She had heard before that if you truly loved someone you accepted every part of who they were. Broken, dark, or whatever else it may be.

Her eyes widened slightly with the thought, burying her burning face against the plush in her arms. Was that the difference between them? That maybe what she felt towards Nate wasn’t really love? Not in the same sense of what she was feeling towards Soren. Maybe it was like loving a best friend. Like her soul sister Chee. Hurting from her marriage loss, maybe she had looked at Nate for more then she should have. Let her feelings get confused.

Was it the same for Soren then? Was she just confused again? No… Something about this felt different. Almost as if Menphina was giving her a nudge. Could she risk putting her heart on the line? It wasn’t a simple answer. Yet Soren always made her feel safe even when he was coated in the blood of the people who would have rather seen her dead. But what did Soren feel? That was the real problem. She didn’t know what he felt towards her.

She continue to lay in the bed. Thinking. Letting her thoughts wander. Eventually she would have to get up and face the world again. Not quite yet though. Just a little while longer.

( @hedgearcher for mentions of Tara. @sorenspath for mentions of Soren.)

There was much to think about. A lot to consider. Yet her words had been right. This much he knew to be true. The words were hard to swallow but they had needed to be said by someone. Yet they seemed to strike better through the pain and haze coming from her.

Hers was a face he hadn’t expected to find. Not standing right outside on the path leading from Soren’s apartment building. How many moons now had it been since she had departed without a word? Too many. No word from her on how she was or if she ever planned to come back again. He had figured she was gone like many others who came and went. Yet there she was that night as he was preparing to head back to those ruins again.

Everything she said was true. He was drowning his pain in drink. Recklessly hunting rumored ghosts to ease his anguish. Not once had he stopped to think of the repercussions of his choices. All he knew was his own suffering. Tried to turn that pain and suffering into something else. Heading down a path that would probably lead to his death.

The loss of so much that had been in his life. His father’s death. Being outcast by his own grandfather. Crashing at Soren’s apartment because he had no place else to turn to besides his cousin at that moment when everything seemed to be falling apart. Yet he did not want to burden her further when she had her own share of troubles. The same went for other friends. He would not be anyone’s burden. Or that was what he thought. Instead he was still a burden in other ways.

Tara… She had come back. Had cut through to him like no one else could. A part of him had wanted to throw his arms around her as he sunk to his knees and just cry. She understood him better then anyone. The first person he had truly let understand him on such a level, see beyond the mask. Yet he had forced himself to maintain some dignity with being out in public where other eyes could be watching.

It had all started with a hug. Something so simple and basic. He had told her the truth long ago about his family while tending his wounds. An she hugged him. It was so unexpected though he had allowed it. Something then had felt so right. He just hadn’t realized then why or what. Hadn’t thought that maybe… This young girl from the wilds was capturing his heart.

Only for her to disappear soon after Starlight. Without even a goodbye. Yet now she was back again. Everything began to feel like it was falling back in place. Things that had felt lost seemed to be finding their way back again. She had even taken care of his wounds before shooing him off to Soren’s bed rather then allowing him to sleep on the couch.

Hopefully Soren wouldn’t mind the additional guest at his apartment that night. Probably wouldn’t. Now if only he could get his cousin and Tara back on speaking terms things would seem just like they used to be. Tara was back once more and that was all that mattered to him as he drifted off to sleep that night.

Now he had to figure out where things went from here. First the drinking had to stop. As did the ventures into those ruins alone. He should have listened to Yuti before but her words, as kind as they had been, had not gotten through to him as effectively as Tara’s. Once he got past those hurdles… Maybe he could consider what his feelings for Tara really were.

Spirit of the Warlock

Tag: Tara Loche

Mixed Feelings

Lost and Found