Destiney stood in her officer coat before the wall. It was the safest of any of the castrums. Being that it was currently in control of the alliance and not the Garleans. She had no idea if that would affect what she planned to do. Yet she had to try. Had to see.

Probably was not the smartest move to come in uniform. People asked less questions though this way. She was still currently on leave of duty. Supposed to be with Ikara training though that wasn’t what she had told the Flames when she took her leave. Ikara though had went off in search of Lloire. Left her alone to work on learning red magic. Her weapon hanging comfortable against her hip.

Being back around the Order for three days in a row had left her feeling raw. Had left her with a need to prove to herself. To prove that she could change. That her leaving several moons ago had not been for nothing.

Still the feelings and the draw towards a place she had once called home left her hurting in different ways. Not all of them bad. She missed it. The meals together like a family. The beach nights to relax and just converse. That sense of truly belonging. Of a calling for something greater. Being a healer for those crazy fools.

Now however she wanted to prove to herself she could change. That she could be worth something more. Worthy of Yuti’s praise of saying she was stronger. Of Quarcy’s words saying her aether was blossoming. Still she lacked faith in herself while they had all the faith in her. Her family had left her feeling weak and vulnerable. Her blood family, not the one she made. Everything those men had done to her had made her doubt herself. Made her make poor choices. If she wanted to fix those choices she had to try. Had to prove to herself she was changing. For the better.

She felt the edges of that familiar panic as she stood there. Like demons lurking in the shadows. Yet this time there was no Nate by her side as she looked towards the wall of the castrum. No Ikara to help her quell the urge to bolt. The memories lingered at the edges of her mind.

Hey, its not the Garelans you are afraid of… its what you would do to them, and that isn’t cowardice. That is strength. To fight against that hatred.

Ikara… She fought back the urge to cry. Maybe the girl had a point. Maybe it was her own self she had been afraid of all this time. Of just what she could or would do if she went back down that path. A path she did not want to go down again. Never would she kill in cold blood again.

Felix, Oni, Frost, Leera… People she had met along the way to this point had changed her views. Changed them for the better. Shown her the world was not black and white. Not good and evil. That some could walk in very gray zones.

One step forward. Followed by another and another as she began to walk forward. Closer. Towards the waiting Castrum. Her steps hesitant at first but growing bolder with every step.

“No more. I won’t be weak anymore.” Destiney whispered to herself as she took a deep breath and kept walking. Her hands balling into fists at her sides. Her gaze becoming determined. “I have changed and I won’t be haunted by memories anymore.”

She needed to be stronger. For those she cared about. For herself. She was tired of being vulnerable. Tired of fearing she would fail those she cared about when they needed her most. All because of some bad memories. Fire and steel. Wasn’t that what Dusk had said she had inside her waiting for when the moment was right? Well something along those words. It was time to change. Time to truly blossom.