Destiney sat there at the table in Soren and Lloire’s kitchen. Notebook and various writing and drawing stuff spread out. A snack towards the center with a glass of juice. Her shoulder was stiff but healing from the arrow she had taken. The second round of medicine that Soren had left for her had been taken. Of course she could have healed her own injury by now that she was better recovered. But was it worth it?
A heavy sigh as she stretched a little bit before picking up a pen to begin writing. The thoughts had been on her mind since last night when she had come to Soren dying. Fingers went to her lips for a brief moment. Remembering that startling kiss he had used to shock her back awake. The apologies and words exchanged after she was out of danger. How much would change between them since their heart shredding fight even though they had apologized to one another… Would things be the same or would they alter? She wasn’t sure but at least she still had had him as her precious friend even if not as anything more. Yet she still wished to write in her journal on the thoughts that had been swirling in her head since.
An odd pairing to be true. What had drawn the angel to such a dark and troubled soul? How was it that two such opposite creatures had become so close? So entangled in each other.
An Angel. Come to explore the world and all it had to offer. Curiosity that burned so bright. Only to be wounded and trapped by the monsters that were eager to devour such a warm and brilliant light.
Alone with broken wings. Threatened to be consumed by the darkness. The angel felt so terribly alone. Yet there were some monsters not so eager to devour such a creature. Curiosity called to them to this beautiful creature of light.
Yet one stood out more then the other monsters who she managed to befriend. One who made her feel like more then some shiny jewel to be guarded like treasure. One whom she began to feel closer towards then the other few monsters who chose to pay attention to her without harming her. A monster with green tattoos on his face.
That monster protected her from those that meant her harm. Watched over her from a distance at first. Yet something about her drew him in like a moth to a flame. Her light was a temptation he couldn’t resist. So he drew closer to her despite knowing what she was. Despite knowing they were like opposite sides of a coin.
Something about his particular darkness drew her in. She wanted to be a light for him. For this monster… He made her feel safe and happy. For the first time since she had been injured she truly felt safe when he was around.
Together they were stronger. The angel healed his wounds and offered his tormented soul bits of peace. While he protected and sheltered her from the very monsters who wanted to devour her. There was a sort of harmony to the balance they brought each other.
Together they were so much more. Light and dark didn’t matter. Angel and monster didn’t matter. Together they were special. They were whole and they were as close as two friends could be. That was what mattered most. That they had each other no matter what the world threw at them.
Destiney yawned as she traded in her pen for things to begin drawing. She wanted to make a picture to go with this. Something about it felt right. Felt proper. She wasn’t the best at art. Nor did she know is she would ever show anyone what she wrote or drew. Yet all that mattered was the peace of mind doing this had given her.
As she finished she set her head down on the table. Her mind had been too full with thoughts to have slept well despite her injury. Now that she felt spent… Now all she wanted was to sleep again. Soren would probably sigh and shake his head that she was choosing to take a nap at the table. Probably should have closed her journal even so he wouldn’t see. Sleep however was stronger. Her eyes drifted close with a warm smile on her face.
(I still have asks to answer. An other things I wanted to do. Updates to tags an blog layout. But… It’s been a rough week. So I apologize on the delay of answering the asks an such. Thanks for sending them though. Happy New Year? Anyways. I kind of fell asleep way too early an now I’m awake. So journal time for Dest while I can’t sleep. Personal mentions: @jonahsage@onidephor)
I didn’t want to believe. I wanted to scream. I wanted… I wanted to hurt. Myself maybe? The one responsible maybe? I’m not sure… My emotions are so very conflicted at the moment. I haven’t wanted to cause physical pain to someone in so long.
Granted my interactions with Felix and C’lest helped to ease the pain of my heart some. I only remember bits and pieces of Nate coming to speak with me because I was drunk. I had needed to drown the pain.
I still have trouble dealing with the idea that Oni does not trust me. That he actually growled an snarled at me. Did not seem to believe I was being honest when I admitted to when the last time I saw Leera was. I regret calling Oni a monster yet… At the same time I do not. Wanting to kill Leera… Suspecting me of reviving Leera when Terra had supposedly killed him… Would I have done it if I could? Yes. Did I? No… I did not even know…
Leera… Oh Twelve… I hadn’t even known… I felt like it was Leon all over again. Unable to do a damned thing to save someone. Failure… The only difference is I did not have to watch Leera die. I wish I could have been there… I’m not sure what difference I could have made… With the abilities Terra has…
I had run off to the Twelveswood to hide after the horrible news. I thought I was well hidden up in a tree. However C’lest had found me even after I insisted multiple times that I wanted to be alone. I caved an spoke with her for a bit. Let out some of the pain that was carving a bloody wound in my soul. But I don’t really know the girl either. So while it helped… It didn’t completely soothe my soul either.
I decided to avoid the Order’s house for now. It is better then taking the chance of running into Oni. I don’t want to be anywhere near him. I think what hurt worse then Leera’s supposed death was not being trusted. Being suspected. I had been honest anytime I was asked about Leera. Gave up the potion Leera had given me before my namesday. Yet… To not be trusted by the head marshal… That is a wound worse then Leera’s supposed death. I refuse to see Oni until he apologizes to me. I didn’t deserve that treatment.
I asked Felix to come over to my house an share drinks with me. I needed to drown the pain. I know Felix and I never agreed over the whole Leera thing. Yet… Felix has always been someone to listen to me over drinks. I was glad for his presence. An his attempts to make me smile an laugh with his teases. It helped to further soothe the pain and lift my spirits. There may have been talk of me trying to learn to use a sword. Which lead into the teases from Felix.
Nate came by not long after Felix left. Yet I only remember parts of what we talked about. I remember asking him to take me to where Leera had been supposedly killed. I wanted to see. I know there is probably nothing for me there yet I want to go. I want to see. He made me promise though that if Leera showed up that I contact him. He doesn’t trust Leera alone with me. I changed the wording of the promise some but we did come to a compromise. I told him I would contact him if I knew he could be around. Otherwise I intended to protect myself if I was alone with Leera. Though honestly… I’m not sure how effective it would be. I’ve watched Leera feed. At most if Leera meant me harm… I could only defend myself an hope to escape.
I guess Nate carried me to bed or I managed to stumble there myself. I can’t remember how I got there. Anyways I should find some work. Keep myself busy. Keep my mind away from the hurt. Distractions. Yes I need distractions…
(Sort of backdating this entry a bit. Cause I meant to have this done an posted before the holiday. An I don’t want to put the happy stuff of the holiday with the darker stuff of this journal entry. So this happened before the starlight party. I want to say she wrote this the day before the party. Personal Mentions: @jonahsage@kindlingdusk@onidephor@sunshineandlotus )
The last many days… I’ve been bounced between so many varying shades of emotion. Pain, emptiness, sadness, anger… Fear. Love. Hope.
Our last mission was going well enough. Though the cards predicted it would be a rough night. A night we could pull through together. We did. But… There were some very rocky bumps in the road this night. The worst part was whatever that device was that threw us all into memories. Memories meant to cut an bleed us dry.
It felt like being back in that very moment. The memory was literally that vivid. I could actually feel the pain all over again. I was forced to replay that moment once more. As if the nightmares had never been enough. To relive the moment before I nearly died. To be brought back to that brink… To see those sneering Imperial faces hovering over me once more… Even as Konner set us free I found myself stuck hovering at the edges of that pain.
Dusk’s voice was the first thing I heard. I heard her calling out to me. Bringing me back from that trauma of the past. I forced myself to stand once more. To put one foot in front of the other again. However I was hesitant enough in moving that I believe I worried Quarcy. His concerned hand on my shoulder was enough to finish dispelling the hold that memory gripped me in. I was able to keep going forward with the mission. Though I took the time to slip on my half-mask, relishing in the comfortable feeling of it upon my face. Hiding behind that mask.
I returned to the house after the mission with the intent to help at the ward with any injuries. However I found myself a patient instead. I should not have worn the jacket into the heat of Thanalan despite the extra protection it offered. Rhisi forced me to lie down an rest before I fell over from the heat exhaustion that was winning out. I only remained long enough to regain some of my strength. My mind was too restless with what happened. I returned to my own room instead.
I spent the next few days at my house, turning away even my cousin. I wanted to be alone. I didn’t want company. Though after a day I found myself back at the Order’s house. Dusk was sitting near the fireplace with tea. Tea sounded really good right then. She offered some to me as well as her ear to listen to what troubled my heart.
I explained it all to her. The events of that day outside of Castrum Occidens. My desire to kill and be killed. Only for my life to be spared in the end. Saved by my Uncle and his companions. Leon… I admitted to how broken I was afterwards. Not understanding why I was still alive back then. Her words though helped to soothe some of the pain that plagued my heart the last few days. Dusk and I might not always see eye to eye… But right then I was grateful for her warm presence.
Life returned to relatively normal for about a day. Apparently though at dinner I found I had missed something important. There was so much tension. Rhisi pulled Nate and myself aside. We were told about an incident in the Order’s past before either of us had joined. An incident involving Oni and the siblings. An Castrum Occidens…
I was warned about Leera being invited into the house. Damn it… I couldn’t sit there an argue with Rhisi though. I left things at that. Choosing to say very little.
I found Nate in the garden the next day. I had intended to head to Wineport. Alone if needed. This was my problem. I couldn’t take the chance that the Order could end up in another situation like that again. If I was forced into Occidens right now… I would be useless… Unable to function… A liability.
Nate however offered to help me. I wanted to refuse. Didn’t want him to watch. Didn’t want to show him just how truly broken I am… Yet… I allowed him to come with me. To be my anchor. To force me home again if I found myself unable to keep going. Because I trust Nate.
I forced myself to go as close to that Castrum as I could. Tried so hard to push further. Yet my legs gave out on me. My body turned traitor to the memories of that day. All I could do was sit there on the ground an tremble like a leaf. Damn it all… Nate’s presence and voice were all I could grasp. I wanted to do better. Yet I had failed… I allowed Nate to sweep me back off to the house.
I will try again. As many times as needed. Until I can overcome whatever part of me I broke that day. I will become stronger. I will not be a liability. Nate offered to continue helping me with this problem. Sweet gentle Nate…
I have not gone back again yet. I have gotten too caught up in the preparations for Starlight. I did though manage to run into Leera in Gridania while running errands for my mother.
Leera looked bad. Well physically he did. I asked him about the attack on Lance. He insisted he couldn’t remember. He seemed honest enough in his answer. He also seemed to be far more emotional then usual. I tried to convince him ‘Father’ is just using him. It didn’t work. I tried to change tactics. Tried to sympathize. I do want to help him. Be his friend. Yet for all his praise towards that man… I still feel he would be better off without that man in his life. Forcing him to nearly freeze to death… Driving Leera to the brink of madness if my cousin’s words were to be trusted. I’m not sure I made any progress. Though I feel I understand a bit more. As well as a bit of the way Leera thinks. I did get him to allow me to heal the physical damage though before I left. I think I may have caught him just a bit off guard with calling him my friend though. Yet his words of warning me not to get in trouble for his sake were touching.
Anyways… I better get finished with those Starlight decorations.
(Journal time! I still have some more ask/writing prompts to finish but I wanted to get this done first before I get too distracted. An because @onidephor mentioned wanting to see what Dest writes about this time since Leera and Oni are involved. 😛 This one is going to be a long one. This past week has been fairly emotional for Dest. Hell just the last few days have been. XD)
Now where did I leave off last time… Oh yes the knock at my door. Apparently I have a cousin who decided to come from Ishgard to watch over me. On occasion. Apparently he has been spying upon me for a while now. An those in my free company. It seems my grandfather has not been too fond of some of my recent activities. He originally sent Lance to spy on us an report back to him.
Lance claims he’s giving him false information though. That Lance just wants a chance to prove himself to me now. Since Dusk and Raiden seemed to think he’s not a danger to me… I’m giving him a chance. A chance to prove himself and the words he claims to be true. So we’ve spent some time getting to know each other. Just a little bit so far. Both of our lives are somewhat busy. So we just try to find time where we can.
There have been no recent missions. At least none that I know of. Life has been busy for many of us this past week. Work or family requiring attention from many. Myself included. Between visiting my mother and dealing with my cousin. An some work for the Flames and Gods’ Quiver.
I met Feterra… Apparently a friend of Nate’s who is staying with him… We had words the other night. Not exactly pleasant words. I do not know how much of the things she said I believe or want to accept with at least a grain of salt. She said Nate hates healers. That she can’t believe Nate would be friends with me. Unless we were ‘special’ friends. Just because Nate stayed on my couch in my room at the Order’s house when he was injured… Nothing has ever happened like that between us. I would never ask that of Nate. I would be afraid it would ruin what does exist between us if I even did. An I can see the pain when he mentions Granger.
I was… Angry. I think I kept my temper rather well despite the anger I was feeling towards her words and judgements of the bond between Nate and I. Thankfully Rhisi arrived an our conversation ended. I took a walk rather then continuing to let her goad me into further anger. It would not benefit anything for me to have remained. She did apologize to me later before I went to bed. I was no longer feeling well.
Oni had been the reason I had felt ill. He had come home with items from a recent hunt. All I could remember was the day I had found him hunting. The blood and sight I found… The thought still made me fearful to be around him. I have been avoiding him an staying away from him as much as possible since that day. At least until last night.
Rhisi had pulled me aside. She had mentioned the day before about asking me how I was doing with the cards. She did ask about the cards… But there was more to our discussion then just that. We also discussed Oni. I was asked if I had ever tried to ask the cards about Oni. I had. Twice now. Once a while back when I was last having problems with him. An then again last night. Each time the answer was the same. Incomplete. Unfinished. Rhisi thought it was actually fitting of the man she knows Oni to be.
I… Came to a realization last night in that discussion. I don’t want to die. Not anymore. Not like I once had. Somehow in my fear while watching Oni… In thinking I might be next… I realized I no longer wanted to die. I had never given the idea much thought since the day I tried to die outside of Occidens. I had wanted to die so badly. I had wanted to take those soldiers with me. Instead I had left a broken mess. I was saved and could not understand why. I was inches from death. Seconds maybe. Yet I was saved. For so long… I couldn’t understand why. I’m not entirely sure I still know why. Yet… Maybe I am finally on the path to understanding it.
Rhisi told me a small story. In a way she seems to think that the events that occurred on my nameday… That this is in a way a part of my rebirth. That it is like the warriors of her story. They live to fight an die in battle. Only to sometimes live. That it is not a second chance. It’s a path towards a rebirth. To accepting that they are alive an that is how they want to be. That the path is never easy. It can be dark, stormy, painful, and filled with fear. It’s the acceptance that is the rebirth. Realizing you want to be alive.
Maybe part of me did die that day. Maybe that part of me my uncle, Leon, an Dove saved was worth it. Worth breathing life back into. Even as broken an shattered as I was. That fragment they worked to restore… It just took me time to realize I wanted to be alive.
Of course this doesn’t mean some magic wand has been waved an I will be one hundred percent alright from now on. I’m still an imperfect creature. I am still finding my way in life. I am still figuring things out. I’ll still have moments where I doubt myself and my abilities. Where all I feel is the darkness in my own heart. That is still a part of who I am. There is no magical cure. There is no quick fix. But… There will always be people who love and care about me though. An somehow I will make it through even when my doubts threaten to drown me.
Oni… I am still unsure how I feel about him. Other then… I still want to be his friend. I was honest about that with him last night at Bronze Lake. I do not know if I can look at him the same way I once did. I do not know if I will ever be able to easily accept the predator he is deep down. I do know that the people of this company that know the truth trust him completely. Rhisi said he chooses us. He chooses to give everything he is to us. That even if he was half mad with hunger he would still do everything in his power to control himself and protect those he calls his family. Somehow… I need to find a way to accept this. In my own way. To come to terms with what lurks beneath that gentle exterior.
Leera… He knows I gave up the potion to Felix yesterday. Felix felt it was dangerous. That somehow it was some plot against Oni. I had never once intended to give it to Oni. Leera gave it to me. It was for my safety. But… I knew Felix wouldn’t let up. I didn’t want to ruin what is between Felix and I. Our friendship does mean a good deal to me. So I gave it to him. Apparently Leera had been nearby an observed. He contacted me over the linkpearl he had left me. I felt bad. I’m not sure if he thought I would lie to him as Felix asked me to or something else. He sounded disappointed. Whether it was just in Felix or the fact that I handed it over I do not know. One thing I will admit is that I am disappointed that I will not hear from Leera again for a time. He said he had to go away for a while. However I did let Felix know I would not stop talking to Leera just because I handed over that vial.
It is unfair to make me pick sides. To keep me in the dark an assume I should side with one based on words alone. I still think there is some shred of good in Leera. I will continue to keep this stance until he proves me wrong otherwise. Till he proves to me that there is no redemption for a soul like his. If I can accept Leera… Surely I can find a way to accept Oni as well. They are both dangerous in their own ways. I will find a way to come to terms with everything. One way or another. I hope. I believe.
There is one thing that bothers me though… I had stepped away from Felix, Dusk, an Rhisi to answer Leera. I told them it was something personal. Which.., It technically is. Still it feels so close to lying… I found myself unable to admit to who I spoke with. Not with Dusk and Felix present. I know their opinions of Leera. I knew they would frown upon it.
Damn it all… I totally did not have a chance to speak with Nate last night either. I spent the first half of the night enjoying the quiet as I was left alone. I mean Konner did come to check in with me which was kind of him. Eventually though Nate brought over a guest who was staying at the house. Yet I did not get a moment alone with him to speak with him about Feterra.
I had a first that night. Nate brought Taka over to me who was very visibly pregnant. I have never dealt with a pregnant person before. Nor have I ever had to check on the health of a child. I am still such a novice healer yet Nate… Seemed to think enough of my skills to bring her to me instead of Aimee. I was nervous and unsure. Yet… I think I did alright.
Overall… This past several days has been a literal whirlwind. I feel like I have been up an down and all over the place emotionally. Many good and bad. I think… Once I can sort through my feelings… Sort through how to handle everything… I will be just fine. Yes… I think that is accurate.
(Oh gawd. It’s been so long since I last wrote a journal entry for Dest. Time to make up for it. x_x Bad me! Another entry not really done in a series of what has happened in a week. Cause it’s been too long an I can’t remember everything. An because I scrapped the original stuff I had written last night. Trying to recap everything was proving harder then I wanted it to be. So I decided just to go over certain events instead. Whatever Dest felt was worth writing about this time. Besides probably better this way anyways as I start doing RPs in other ways besides in the game. Just let her write her thoughts of certain situations instead.)
It’s been a time since I’ve last written in here. I was… emotionally distraught last time. Things are… A mix between better an worse. Depends upon which day we speak of. Am I as upset as the last time I wrote? No. Am I still… Gods I don’t know. The things I’ve seen and had to think on in the time between then and now…
The missions and the missing kids. Yes more missing kids which we found and rescued this time thankfully. Dealing with missing supplies only to have to deal with our masked foe and corrupted fire elementals and the undead… Our missions have been getting more and more dangerous. Dealings with a fanatic crazed with some sort of being named Gaia. It’s a lot to take in. A lot to understand. It leaves me scratching my head an wondering where to find the answers. We can’t even touch our masked foe. Twelve be merciful… We need to get to the bottom of this before anyone else gets hurt. Aras was hurt in the fight with the masked foe and his behemoth. Quarcy was hurt in the fight with the masked foe an his tortoise and fire elementals. I am tired of watching the others get hurt. There has to be answers somewhere. There just has to be…
On a plus side to the time I’ve spent… I am back on good terms once more with Felix and Dusk. Though they have both multiple times cautioned me against Leera. Both of them have. I know they mean well.
But I hold to what I believe. I believe Leera can be a better person. He just needs the right influences. He’s been nothing short of caring when I talk to him. Alright sometimes he seems a little cold. But he’s always been honest. He even gave me a potion of sorts in case I were to get hurt. Which of course Felix seems to insist is some kind of poison. I highly doubt it is. Leera gave it to me while we were discussing Oni.
Speaking of Oni… I got to witness him hunting by accident. Wrong place, wrong time… To think… Our head of security can behave like that… To know what he is capable of… I understand now why Leera warned me. I was never more thankful in that moment to have that linkpearl to contact Leera with. I was so afraid I couldn’t think straight. I thought for sure I was going to end up as Oni’s next meal. An to watch him… No I can’t recall it. It still makes me feel ill.
Felix seems to think I need to keep an open mind. I’ve always had an open mind. But this… This is wrong on so many levels. Nate said Oni wanted to apologize. I’m not sure I want to be alone in the same room with him. I’m not sure I can trust him after what I saw. After everything I’ve been told between Leera and Raiden. I’m not sure what to think right now… I’m not sure I will ever be able to look at him in the same way again. There might always be that fear now.
I’m hoping to see Leera again soon. I’m hoping to finish discussing some of what was mentioned before Dusk showed up during our last chat. Hopefully…
Ah… I will have to finish writing another time. There is a knock on my door. Might be Chee or her brother. It is unusual for me to have guests at my personal home.
(Okay let’s see if I can get a journal post done now that I got through the asks. 😀 Well all the ones that were currently there. I’ll answer anymore if they show up of course! ^^ I enjoy answering them. It’s quite fun. 😀 This entry though is going to be a bit more emotional an less of a telling of the events of the week since last entry. As I said in an ask earlier, Dest is a bit emotionally unstable right now. Thanks @onidephor, Leera helped break Dest. I hope that smug duskwight bastard is happy an enjoying every minute of it. :P)
Am I really so fragile? Am I truly like broken glass? I overheard Dusk’s words as I lingered near the stairs after changing my clothes to head to the Shroud in hopes of finding Basteaux. I wanted to run upstairs an claim I was not glass! But… Maybe I am…
I must be so broken an be the only one who can not see it. How could I feel nothing about ten dead children! Ten! I felt numb and empty. Yet… I was so near to being sick watching the rest of the Order kill the bandits responsible. I spent the better part of two days wandering about wondering why I felt so little. Was I really so broken I could feel so little about dead children? That I could find no rage. That I could find no killing calm towards those responsible. Had I shattered myself so badly that day outside Occidens that I could no longer find that rage an anger for such a tragedy?
I thought I was going to be okay. I thought I could be strong an help those who needed it. I thought I could repay the kindness I have received ever since joining the Order. I told Rhisi I was fine. That I could find no rage like everyone else could. She hoped I would never find it again. I thought I was fine. But time only made me doubt myself.
I found Leera outside the house a few days ago. I was cautious at first as I usually am. I know what the others think of him. I know I can never fully trust him. But… He seemed like he was actually sorry about the whole incident. I found myself drawn towards him like a moth to a flame.
When Felix showed… I said words I should never had said. I felt as if a slap to my face would have been less painful or even a sword to the gut… He thought… I was stupid for wanting to be around Leera. Even though he was the one who first left me alone with him! Even though he never once thought to ask if I was okay after finding out the truth about Leera in person! He claims Leera is a monster an only wants to kill certain members of the Order… Yet… I see more to the man then that. I can see some shred of good in him. I want to believe that maybe there is a chance he can be something more.
Dusk had happened by during our exchange of words. She called my behavior childish… Maybe… I think I had a right to my feelings. I felt so raw and hurt. I felt so… Alone. I wanted to curl into a ball an wish the world away. I threw words at her. I told her how I felt. Blamed things on those that made me feel as if… as if… I was not a person. I blamed Oni and his treating Daisy and I as snacks. I blamed Aimee an her lack of making sure I knew my job as a healer for the Order. I blamed Felix for thinking less of me. I blamed everyone but my weak self at the time…
As she left I noticed Leera had left a linkpearl near me when he had left. I grabbed it an held it tight. I felt… Defiant. Hurt and defiant. I wanted to prove them wrong. Prove to them that maybe there was a shred of humanity inside the man they thought of as a monster. That even as fragile as I can be in their eyes… I can still be strong in different ways. Continue to reforge the broken parts of myself as I had been. I had been doing so well…
It was after that exchange that I had gone out with my bow. I was still feeling so raw an hurt. I figured a few drinks with Basteaux an forgetting the world was in order. Instead all I found was more pain. This time physical. I was forced to flee from some bandits as I was lacking care as I traveled through the woods. Somewhere along the line I had fallen. Tried to stop my fall with my bow hand. I know the wrist is sprained. And… I do not care. I welcomed the pain. Once I was safe I took the time to wrap my wrist and hand. Not well since I was doing it with only one hand.
I’m still so… Mixed. So hurt an sad. I don’t want to bother Rhisi. I don’t want to bother anyone. I just… I’m not sure what I want. I have avoided the hall since that night. I’ve avoided all contact with the rest of the Order. I’m… not sure… What I am going to do come tomorrow… I should be there for the mission… But… I just do not know… Twelve help me… Maybe I should use that linkpearl Leera left me… Is this a mistake? Should I have not picked it up at all? Maybe I should just let myself believe what they say about him instead… Is it really wrong of me to want to think that maybe Leera might change for the better with the right influences? I won’t know without trying… It could mean my death… It could mean more pain… I should be afraid… But I’m not…
(Well this is overdue. At least to me it is. I’ve just been very bleh the last few days for a few reasons. I really need to do this for Destiney an then do a little bit for Lance. As well as I wanted to work on a more cleaner an detailed profile then what I have right now. Meh. I want to at least get the writing done. Profile crap can wait. The stuff I have up for now works plenty fine for the time being. I’m just being picky. XD As long as I can stop being distracted by Spotify. Been trying to switch over to it instead of Pandora. Mostly cause Pandora an my phone do not seem to like each other. I keep having to wake the screen or it ends up in endless buffering between songs. Anyways enough rambling. Journal time~!)
The mission at the end of the week took us down in the Sunken Temple of Qarn. We hoped to find whatever it was that the enemy was after. As well as come up with a way to undo whatever meddling he had done. The aether around the temple felt… Disturbed. Obviously our enemy had a hand in whatever was wrong.
I was assigned to a team with Kagato, Chloe, and Dusk. Together we took one path. The other two teams split off from us to check other areas. Kagato was treasure happy. Why am I not surprised when he is a pirate. The whole mentality of ‘it it can be taken, take it’.
Things went fairly smoothly for us for the most part. Until the room with the large stone golem. The fight got a bit rough. At one point even though it seemed like Kagato had it’s attention, it turned around to smack me. I was totally off guard, focusing on keeping everyone standing an save from major injuries. Thankfully the damage I took was not life threatening. The arm it had hit though was not in the best of shape. I’m pretty sure something was fractured for the amount of pain I was in. I allowed Daisy to tend to my arm as the battle ended. However I stopped her from doing more then healing the fracture. We didn’t have time nor did I want to waste the effort on healing minor injuries.
We pressed in deeper into the temple. I managed to get knocked around again by a Croc. Thankfully it only bruised my back but nothing worse. In the end we arrived at a giant room with the other two teams. There was our masked foe. He tried to steal a jewel from the large statue in the room. However this seemed to wake the damn thing. He fled an left us to deal with it. We defeated the living statue but the gem the enemy was after crumbled to dust along with the rest of the statue. So whatever he wanted to us it for we would not find out. The gem was gone. As was our masked foe.
We returned to the house to deal with injuries. I went off to the medical ward to see what I could do while Aimee was tending to Oni’s injuries. Both Nate and Tara came in to be treated. Rhisi left me to tend to Nate’s broken ribs while she went to see what she could do for Tara’s concussion. I sent Daisy over to help Rhisi while I wrapped Nate’s ribs since he said aetherical healing wouldn’t work on him. An it was better then Daisy fussing over my arm.
I had taken my coat off so that the sleeves wouldn’t be in the way. I could already see how badly my arm was going to look the next day. I wanted to ask Nate why I couldn’t use magic to heal him but I decided he would tell me in time. He did not seem ready to talk about it.
Rhisi came over to check on me as Nate excused himself for the night. Tara had already left an Daisy was back at my side. Daisy was waving her arms in annoyance at the fact I wouldn’t let her finish what she had started earlier. I was too tired to care. Rhisi seemed worried but I promised her it was just bruises. Which was not a lie. I just didn’t mention how tired and sore I felt.
I was late to the All Saints’s Wake party at the house. I had gotten caught up in work as well as I had to modify my outfit. An let Daisy at least heal the bruises on my back. My outfit was a bit too revealing to be walking about sporting so many bruises. I had added sleeves to the outfit to hide the way my left arm looked. Of course Daisy fussed again. I felt a little bad at just blowing it off but I was already late.
The party was quite fun. I teased J’siris a bit. Flirted a bit with Raiden before warning him to stay out of my room. Talked some with a friend of J’siris and Kagato. I figured if I was going to go dressed as a succubus, why not be a little bit wicked. It was for one night anyways. So I acted the part an tried not to be as embarrassed as I would have been normally to be in such an outfit.
I ran into Leera at the end of week gathering at Bronze Lake. We talked for a few before I reminded him I had invited him before. Back before I had learned the truth about him. I don’t hate him. I sort of miss the easy interactions I had with him before that night in the South Shroud. Like that night at the house with Capucine. I wanted to talk to him more then too. Something about Leera… I’m not sure what it is… So I tried to talk to Felix an ask him to just try an ignore Leera’s presence… Yeah that went wonderfully. Felix left in a huff.
Nate was talking to Rhisi when I turned around. I heard her mentioning to Nate he should check with his healer about being in the water. I think he was a bit surprised to find me standing to his right when I spoke up with my opinion. So I joined Nate in the water. We could both use a good soak in the hot springs. When we both started to get tired we returned to the house so that I could change his bandages for dry ones.
I went out to the South Shroud for work the next day. I ended up missing dinner. But it was well worth it. I think I made a new friend.
I was over towards the entrance of the Keep. I had offered my services to a friend of my father’s in the Gods’ Quiver. I came across a man. A Duskwight. At first I thought he might be a bandit. He mistook me for a Gods’ Quiver because I was wearing my half mask I tend to use when I patrol in the Shroud.
It was when he drew closer that I thought I was seeing a ghost. I felt my chest tighten. My head felt light. I was afraid I might pass out. Leon… I thought I was seeing him. I know he’s dead but… I should know better. Should know it couldn’t be him.
I think I worried Basteaux a little with my reaction at first sight of him up close. So I told him of Leon. An how they looked similar from first glance. But really looking at Basteaux I realized they are not the same. The skin tone was wrong as was the scars on the face. He was missing that golden tattoo on his face. They both have blonde hair and green eyes though the shades are not the same either. No wonder I mistook him for Leon. They even wore their hair in about the same way.
I talked for a bit with Basteaux until I had to leave. I asked him if I could meet him again. Maybe over drinks at Busacroon’s. He agreed. I’m interested in talking to him. He patrols the South Shroud dealing with bandits on his own because he feels the Wailers and Quiver don’t do a good enough job. I hope I can meet him again.
Two days later I was sitting outside the house reading. Daisy was hovering over my shoulder. Maybe reading. I’m not sure if she knows how. Nate stopped by the house. It was once he was talking that I realized that Oni was sitting on the wall nearby. Being a creeper. I have no idea how long he had been sitting there. Watching. Waiting.
The three of us talked for a bit. Oni was mentioning something about smelling a certain type of aether. Daisy was busy amusing herself. She had first gone over to Nate an waved to him, examining him before I reminded her we couldn’t heal his ribs. So Daisy then began wandering over towards Oni. I was talking to Nate so I wasn’t fully paying attention to Daisy. Oni had held his hand out to her and she sat down on it. She thought she was safe. Should have been safe… If Oni wasn’t hungry…
Before I knew it Oni was trying to eat Daisy… I smacked him over the head with the book I had been reading when he didn’t spit her out when I demanded him to. I might have smacked him a bit harder then intended but I was panicking about Daisy. He did spit her out. Strings of blue saliva dripping from her as she sat upon the ground. Daisy was totally not happy. I scolded Oni, reminding him that I had no idea the effects if he ate Daisy. I had no idea if I would be able to resummon her again or if the bond would be broken. So instead I concentrated an made a ball of aether for him to snack on. I’m sure it wasn’t enough but it would have to do. Of course then there was talk of him licking Nate.
Some days I worry about Oni. Other days he seems so normal.
Well I need to get some work done before tonight’s mission.
(Here we go again~! Only cause I’m not sure I’ll have time to do this if I wait. At least not until Monday. An I really wanted to do one. So write away my Desty. Also I changed the look of my tumblr as well as added a sort of profile page for Destiney and Lancefer. 😀 Yay me. Progress. I am a good mun. An @onidephor I hope Raiden’s happy. 😛 Freaking Dest out like that.)
I was running late for the gathering at Forgotten Springs. I took far too long fussing with that silk. I really should not make bets while drinking. Felix finally decided this week would be the time for me to wear it. So thankfully by the time I arrived most people were busy talking to other people already. I was not sure how the silk an water would mix so I took a seat on the dock.
Konner came over to talk to me for a little while. It was mostly just small talk. Asking me how I was an such. A few things of what I enjoyed. I think mostly making sure I was doing alright. I appreciate the concern. Eventually Konner wandered off to check on other people at the gathering or something. I can not recall.
Eventually Nate finished his conversation with Neiven and came up to sit beside me. He commented on how I looked. I could not help but fuss with the silk an blush like some stupid maiden. Ugh. How is it I can think an behave two different ways? I mean I know I have the figure for the outfit but I still felt like… Like this outfit was something Leon would have enjoyed making me wear. I wanted to hide my burning face.
Raiden did not help matters any. Not. One. Bit. PEST! Oni was busy with Aimee and Felix but that did not stop Raiden in his aether form from pestering me. I do not think Nate could see him. An Raiden was being far too touchy feely. He kept trying to get a view under that silk. When I tried to thwart him, he just perched on Nate’s shoulder an looked down at my chest… Pervert…
Dinner came and went. It was a hotpot dinner? I think that is what Rhisi called it. It was a quiet night though. Raiden made no moves despite me wearing that outfit again. Thank the Twelve. I spent most of the dinner making small talk with Nate. We did not have any guests for a change.
Our mid-week mission… Wow…
We went out to the Churning Mists to collect stuff from Wind Sprites in the area. Rhisi hoped we could find a way to counter whatever was done to the golems using them. Since in the elemental wheel Earth is weak to Wind. So out we went.
Of course things did not go entirely smooth as usual. Dragons and all. An not the friendly kind. Remnants of Nidhogg’s Brood probably. I can not say for sure since I was not going to try asking an angry dragon why it was attacking us. Though we did manage to collect enough to work with plus one extra. Just in case. Hopefully it will be enough to reverse the tampering that was done.
We encountered a strange treasure coffer in the middle of the road as we finished. Of course it was trapped. Why not. We subdued the monsters lured by the trap only for a portal to appear. A few of the group were unsure about seeing where it lead. Rhisi has said she had heard mention of these portals before. Some place called the Aquapolis. So we ventured inside. It was a fascinating area I wish I could have explored more.
We found a treasure coffer in the middle of a spacious room. Of course it was trapped. A coffer in the middle of a room untouched. Definitely trapped. Two gates opened an we dealt with the monsters the trap had unleashed upon us. It left us with two choices. Left or Right. Two doors. No idea if either was trapped or not. We tried going left but it was the trapped door of course. So much for that. The trap threw us back out into the Churning Mists. Rhisi called an end to our adventures for one night, assigning Quarcy to help me figure out a way to reverse the tampering.
We returned to the house. I went to my room to change back into the silks of the thavnarian outfit. Well at to drop off the stuff we gathered tonight as well. I went back out to see if I could find Quarcy. He had gotten sick while we were in the Churning Mists. I could tell the signs. I knew them all too well. Something was bothering him. Something as bad as my own memories of Castrum Occidens. I wanted to make sure he was okay.
I found Quarcy hiding in a corner. I asked him if he was okay an he deflected the question trying to assure me he was okay. I sort of expected that answer. I put a hand against his head, his skin was so cold. I tried again to ask him about his current state only to give up an attempt to let it go at that. So I suggested we could begin our work on those cores. I figured maybe instead I could at least take his mind off things.
Well maybe. I decided to kindly mention once we were in the privacy of my room that I knew the way he felt. I knew how badly a traumatic moment could shake a person when returning to the place or something similar. Our conversation got to be a bit jumbled between the discussion of the cores and what was bothering him. He slowly began to open up. Asking me if things ever got better. I told him I was still dealing with my own problems but time an the people I care about having given me the strength to keep pushing. To find a path in the right direction. Healing is no overnight process. An for everyone it is different.
He asked me to go with him. He wanted to show me something. Since we were making no process on the cores I agreed. He was too distracted to work an I wanted to know. I wanted to be there for him. Even if listening an sympathizing with him was the only thing I could do. Sometimes it helps just to know there is someone who cares.
He could have at least warned me we were going somewhere extremely cold so I could have put on my gear instead of that soft silk. I was freezing when he teleported us to Falcon’s Reach. Thankfully I had my grabbed my bag so I could throw on my coat, boots, and gloves. At least now I wouldn’t completely freeze as he showed me what he wanted to show me.
The Orphanage and the graves of those he had lost in Coerthas. Mabs’ grave at the Burning Wall. He opened up to me on the reasons Churning Mist brings back such bad memories and made him ill. An gave me more reason to dislike House Dzemael other then some of my family in Ishgard serving them. I was glad he opened up to me and shared some of his pain. I feel like I am beginning to understand Quarcy a bit better. An I tried to make him think of himself as more important then he believes. He is such a smart guy an a good person. No matter what he has suffered. He should not feel like he is worthless or has no real place.
We returned to the house after. However it was late an I needed rest. The cores could wait. Helping Quarcy was more important. I was glad to see him doing better.
I seem to be doing a good bit of that lately. First with Nate and then with Quarcy. I guess my own stupidity choices helped with something. I’m learning how to help others who have also had something pretty bad happen. In a way I guess it is a good thing. I am a healer after all. Who is to say I can’t help with the mental besides just the physical.
I was too tired to change my clothes. So I fell asleep in the silk thavnarian clothes. The next morning… By the Twelve… Raiden!
I thought something felt off. I was drowsy from being up so late. But something woke me from slumber. I blinked with eyes not quite adjusted to the morning light. I looked down at my legs where something felt off. I screamed an scrambled to get away. Raiden! Freaking me out that early in the morning. Seeing a big fat tentacle of aether just draped over my legs… Just sprawled there… Like it was no big deal… I hope no one else heard my screams. Both my screams of panic before I realized what was going on an the screams at Raiden as I kicked him out of my room. The nerve of him! Twelve save me… He better pray to Halone to protect him if he tries anything like that again. I am pretty sure my face was as red as it could possibly be. Just what in the world had he done while I was sleeping?! Pervert!
The beach night was at Costa this week. It was not a bad night. Nor was it overly memorable. Well not as much compared to some of the others things that happened this past week.
I spent the night talking with Nate and Chloe mainly. Though Oni left a note with me before he left. Saying we needed to speak so I could give my report on the work Tara an I were supposed to have done. I put the note away and continued to converse with people present. I would worry about it later. The reports had waited this long anyways.
It was at dinner the next night that Oni decided it was a good time to pull me aside for those reports. I left Nate to speak with Rhisi about joining us for some work. We headed off to my room where I left my papers an the armband I needed to give to Oni.
I gave him my report. An gods be damned if I did not feel like I had somehow kicked a small cute creature after Oni had left. He was… So quiet. So unlike himself. Well unlike what I had grown used to knowing. I felt like I had surely done something bad. I returned to join those that remained at the table. Oni’s silence was unnerving at the very least. I wanted to scream an demand to know what I had done. All I had done was give my report as he had asked.
I had promised Nate a reading after dinner. Most of the others had wandered off for the night. An I needed a distraction from the fact that Oni was behaving like that. So we headed downstairs so I could use the table down there for the reading. The table that was setup for Triad was a good place to work with the cards. It all started out well as I used the Trinity spread. It was not until the third an final card that I became worried. It was a warning of sorts. At least from the way I was interpreting the meanings. I am still learning after all. It called for vigilance. That some quest ahead would be dangerous for him. I hoped the warning was not needed. But I asked Nate to promise me he would be careful an ask for my help if he needed it.
I was busy most of the next day with work of my own. Well most of the day. I might have set outside of the yard hiding behind the fence later that evening. Aimee and Oni were in the yard. As was Tara who had just gotten back home from helping her family with the harvest. I was sort of snooping, still curious what was going on with Oni an not wanting to outright confront him. Eventually Nate arrived an nearly gave away my position. Thankfully though Oni left with Aimee and Quarcy to head to Ishgard. They were off to investigate some leads.
I joined Chee for a short while before the mid-week mission. We did a little catching up on the things that had been happening in our lives. We enjoyed some drinks for a Lady’s Night at the Last Bell. Sadly too soon I had to say goodnight to Chee. Rhisi had given us the call to begin heading to the house for the mission.
Our next mission was back out in Southern Thanalan again. Nate joined us as a guest. Apparently there were more shepherds then the one we helped. We were looking for something to help remove petrification. Hopefully it would be something more effective then Dusk an my attempt before. That was a bit too much for two people to have to do repeatedly. We found something worth trying an took it back to the two groups, one of shepherds an one of sheep. I still do not understand why these silly shepherds even decided it was a good idea to try an do what they do in Southern Thanalan of all places.
My mind was on anything but the mission of course. Between Oni’s behavior and the reading I did for Nate. I felt like I was ready to jump at every shadow. I was worried something could happen. Worried out reaper friend would choose to attack again. I excused myself early from the half of the team I was working with. My mind was just not focused. I returned to the house.
Raiden was there. As well as Rhisi, Konner, and a guest. I hated asked Raiden for a moment of his time with a guest present but I really needed to at least get something off my mind. I asked him an we went to my room to speak privately. Of course he had to bring a cake with him which he decided to snack on.
I finally asked Raiden to tell me what I did to Oni. I -needed- to know. It was driving me mad. Apparently Oni thought I no longer wished to be his friend based on my behavior towards him. I was… Mad. Confused. Frustrated. Never once did I want to hate Oni. Oni is… different and frustrating. But I could never really hate him. Even if he says things he did not clearly mean. I assumed his words meant one thing when they meant something else. To be honest his words were not exactly clear either. Raiden does not think we need to apologize to each other though. I guess I need to work on my people skills…
Though I did steal a slice of that cake from Raiden’s hand towards the end of our conversation. I could no longer resist the temptation he was holding. Of course then I made a comment that he probably enjoyed me making Oni into a mummy. Which lead to him making a comment of … No I am not writing those words. I thought for sure I might melt alone hearing that comment. I bid him goodnight an pushed him towards the door before he could add more comments of that type.
I was late coming home the next night. I had a bit of work to do. I arrived to quite the mess. Chocolate spatters, shirtless men, and a partially damaged cake dragon. Apparently it was Raiden’s nameday. An I did not know so I did not have a gift for him.
Somehow the conversation lead to my lost bet to Felix. Great. Now Raiden knows. Let the endless harassment begin. Eventually a guest arrived. She commented on Raiden and I. It is not a courtship ritual! Raiden and I are not like that… I don’t think we are… I think he just enjoys leaving me flustered and blushing. Then Raiden just had to lean in an add something to me privately. Twelve save me… He made the comment from the night before worse… I wished I could just disappear.
I used the chance of Raiden being distracted by Anais to disappear up the stairs. I needed a drink. Badly. Nate was up there at the bar an I had almost totally missed the fact he was there because of the addled state I was in. We spoke for a bit. He finally opened up to me a bit. I was happy to listen, to understand him better. We’ve both lost people. We both don’t want to lose anyone else. I think together we can make sure not to let that happen. Not alone. That is one of the things I always hear repeated among those of this company. Not Alone. None of us here are ever truly alone. Not as long as we have each other.
Not alone. It’s been a long time since I could ever truly appreciate those words. Being here.. Among those of the Order… It’s been a much needed balm. My friends of ‘The Outsiders’ gave me purpose an the needed push to keep moving forward. The Order has given me what I’ve long needed to begin to truly heal. I wanted to hold Nate’s hand an never let go. He has become such a precious friend to me. Just as the rest of the Order. I won’t let anything happen. Not to any of them. No matter how frustrating and confusing they can be at times. They are my family.
Anyways! Our mission last evening took us back out to Southern Thanalan again. More dealings with the shepherds and looking for answers on what was going on. Apparently the golems were not behaving properly over towards Qarn. Half the team went to check with the nearby beast tribe. I was with the other half dealing with the golems. We gathered up golem cores to try an figure out what was going on with them when Dusk’s attempt to reason with them went unheeded. I brought samples with us back to the house. The aether of the area was too turbulent to be able to figure anything out from there. But it sounds like we will soon be making a trip down into Qarn.
(Journal time again! ^^ A little delayed. Been trying to recover from all the work. So many hours. @_@ Ugh. I did not get to do more then 1 learning party so far for Sophia Ex. But we were up to the healer check. So we made pretty good progress. I did get most of my other content done. Though I still have half my alex stuff to do. XD Which I will do asap once I get done with this entry. Oh! AND! I finished my hyperconductive stage of my Relic! 😀 Yay Word of the Magnate! Destiney finally hit lvl50 on PLD. My first 50+ tank class. ^^ Also making fair progress on Lance. He’s lvl 28 atm an ready to head into the next dungeon.)
Dinner was a rather quiet affair this week. Well other then Nathaniel stopped by. I was glad to have him to speak with. I checked on his well being out of concern since I did remember he had suffered a failed hunt the week before. He insisted he was fine. I hope he is. I… I don’t know what I would do if something happened. I don’t want to lose his friendship so soon.
Oni arrived while I was talking to Nate. I could feel his stare. I asked him if there was something wrong. Making sure to address him properly with a ‘Sir’ as well. He said it was nothing before whispering something over his shoulder to Raiden. I wanted to ask what he was whispering about but I did not. I let things go at that. I think Nate noticed the tension I held towards Oni. It is hard. Trying not to relax back into the way things were around Oni. I’m not ready to forgive him this easily. Though at the same time I’m not -as- angry as I was. More so… Disappointed.
Speaking of Oni… I still have not been able to catch Leera to check on his well being either. I’m worried but I am not about to try going over to the Castrum just to check on someone like Leera. It’s been a week though…
The mid-week mission was rather tame. We built fencing for that Shepherd from the week before. No sign of our ‘friend’. I helped C’lest with bringing wood over for the others to build with. I guess it is a good thing I still regularly practice with my bow. Keeps me better fit then just casting spells would ever do. Definitely helped with carrying wood over that distance. Nothing of real importance occurred though. No attacks. Just a simple night.
Though… Our mission at the end of the week was far worse. The cards predicted a rough night for us. Well they predicted us encountering our familiar foe again. An they were right. The night was filled with attacks by our foe.
Things seemed to be starting off simple enough. We had to take care of the Peiste problem near the area where the Shepherd was. That was when we encountered a group of people who had been petrified. I did my best to try an halt the progress though I was unable to reverse it on my own. Dusk preformed some kind of strange magic using blood before having me try again. Thankfully whatever Dusk did helped. The people should have come around a few hours later. However we did not have a chance to linger. We cleared the area of Peistes before heading north.
A blast above us rained rocks down at us. I threw up a shield hoping to hold off the worst of the rubble. Thankfully the biggest of the rocks landed in front of us not on top of us. Blocking our path of course… We decided it would take too long to move or find another way. We would climb the rocks. Again I was thankful. I used to climb trees in the Shroud as a kid. This was not much more difficult. I just had to be relatively careful. I was also glad I had ditched the skirt in favor of something a bit more sensible for such tasks.
When we got over to the other side we encountered a new problem. Both Aras and Neiven managed to find landmines in the ground. Since Aras was more heavily geared then Neiven, I rushed to Neiven’s side first. Her legs were still intact but pretty hurt. I healed the worst of it an helped her to her feet. C’lest had chosen to carry Aras after she had done some fancy maneuvers with her fists an chakra to explode the rest of the landmines. We could not tarry here. It was not safe.
Chloe managed to find our reaper friend. We hurried to join her nearby. It looked like a small ravine separated us from the enemy. An somehow Dusk had managed to cross it without us noticing as we were being fired upon. I had thrown up a shield again though I did not have to hold it long before the enemy vanished as usual. Neiven helped to get C’lest to the other side so we could get Dusk back safely. I thought I heard a noise that reminded me of Oni’s cores. I could be mistaken though as I was hurrying over to check on Aras. She had finally regained conscience. She insisted she was fine. An someone learned the ground was not a ravine but a projection. There was never a gap between us and our enemy.
I was ordered back to the house with Aras and Dusk. The others would soon follow. I ordered both Dusk and Aras into the house so I could better check over them. Dusk passed out on the floor inside the house. I got Chloe and Aras to help me move her into her room where she could rest. I did not want to risk anything by healing her right then. Not when she had insisted I could not heal her hand because of the spell she had used on those people.
Once Dusk was safely in her room we headed back out to the main floor. I demanded Aras hold still an let me check her over. I thought I had glimpsed blood on her head when she had looked down at the leg she had stepped on the landmine with. Everything else might be fine but she had most definitely hit her head when the explosion had knocked her back. So I took care to heal it before then moving over to where C’lest was fussing over Neiven.
Neiven’s legs still needed further tending now that we were safely at the house again. I was feeling the strain of so much aether usage but I needed to do this. I finished what I had started out in the field. Quarcy had just arrived as I finished. I stood up an staggered a moment because I felt light-headed. Too much. I had once more pushed too hard. Though not nearly as hard as the week before. I really do need to work on strengthening myself.
It was just Quarcy an I for a moment. Chloe an Aras had gone off to drink. C’lest had gone somewhere with Neiven for the moment. I explained to Quarcy to events of the night that he had missed. An he did something I had never seen before. He asked for my hand. Out of curiosity I obliged him. He did some sort of transfer between us. It was an odd sensation but I felt better. Less drained then I had been moments before. Granted I was still physically tired from everything that had occurred. But now I was not also aetherically drained as well.
We discussed some theories on the enemy before C’lest returned. I let her give Quarcy her side of the events of the night. After all I had been distracted with healing a few times. Shortly after I excused myself for the night. I needed rest.
Other then that the days have been busy but uneventful. Nothing serious to note besides those few days.
Spirit of the Warlock 